Self-management Sequence – 5 Steps To Success

What do I need to do to change? What do I need to start growing and claiming milestones in my life? These are the kinds of questions everyone asks and only a few can get themselves to the correct answer. It is fairly easy to understand some of the steps, but it is very hard to understand that there is a specific set of steps everyone has to follow (or follows unknowingly) in order to change and reach some level of success. Today, we’ll talk exactly about these 5 core steps! Let’s hop into it!

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This is a success sequence from the book What to Say When You Talk to Yourself written by Shad Helmstetter Ph.D (yes, you’ve figured it out, I am currently reading this book – so I use a lot of concepts from it in the recent posts). For the sequence to work, you need to start at the beginning and finish at the end. Follow the steps in the correct order and it is inevitable that it will work for you.

Step 1 – Programming

Our brain works as a computer. Our belief system is created and controlled entirely by our programming. It is necessary for you to understand where you are at the moment, as most of us have been listening to a lot of “You can’ts” in our childhood and thus it is hard for us to imagine any kind of success taking place in our lives. This needs to change. You need to re-programme your subconscious mind from “I don’t think I can” to “What can stop me other than myself?” This takes regular maintenance of your thoughts, which is described in detail in our recent posts. In short, you need to change the way you talk to yourself in order to make your brain understand that you want to do things differently, and you need to change your environment  in order to ensure that what you’re consuming is helping you in the re-programming phase. To make things clearer, imagine a very simple scenario we all understand. Our brains work like computers – imagine the search tab in YouTube. When you search a specific song loads of times, it will then start appearing at the top of the previously searched videos (which appears before you start typing). However, if you search for a song only once or twice, this song will be somewhere at the bottom of that list (or not at all). This is how computers work, but it is also how our brains work. The more often you think something, the more it is likely to come up again. This works for negative thoughts as well.

Step 2 – Beliefs

“Belief” does not require that something is the way we believe it is. It only requires us to believe that it is. Your belief system is ultimately set up by your programming. If you’ve been told that you can’t become an astronaut when you were young numerous times, you will believe that it is impossible for you now. Thus it follows that in order to change your beliefs, you need to change your brain programming. Beliefs are the constants in our minds. They are hard to establish, but also hard to get rid off. Unfortunately, like I said above, most of us need to do the latter. Once you reach the stage where you truly believe (for a longer period of time without any doubts) that you can succeed, that you can apply for that NASA recruitment programme, you can move to the next step. 

Step 3 – Attitude

Attitude is the perspective from which we see our lives. It is also created, controlled or influenced by our beliefs. When you believe you can become an astronaut, your attitude towards your preparations and progress towards that specific goal changes. You will be able to see the shift from “Why even bother” to “Let me figure out a way to make this happen” and even to “I’m doing this!” Be positive – is one of the most frequent tips people hear. But most answers to that usually involve something like “It isn’t as simple as that” or “You can’t just flip a switch and become positive thinking.” And you know what? That is completely right. You can’t do it, unless you have already completed the first two steps!


Step 4 – Feelings

Every action we take is first filtered through our feelings. How we feel about something will always determine or affect what we do and how well we do it. It is inevitable. You need to learn to love the process. How do you do that? Through your attitude. When you really learn to enjoy growing, seeing the challenges and overcoming them, you will finally stop doubting everything. You will stop holding yourself back, you will be able to leave your comfort zone, which is the only reason you still are where you are. 

Step 5 – Behavior

Your actions need to work for you, not against you. Behavior is what we do, but also what we don’t do. Make sure you understand that inaction is also a behavior you can control. Behavior is the final step of the sequence. Like everyone says, being all ready and knowledgable about success is all nice and well, but action is the differentiator. No action, no behavior leads to no results. However, you can not skip the first four steps if you want to have sustainable success. You can do something unusual, you can take action without going through the sequence, but then there are only 2 ways this can go. Either you end up giving up at some point after some time, or you will have gone through the sequence subconsciously anyways.

There you go. You wanted the single most important advice out there? This is it. Make decisions that will bring you closer to your goals, as opposed to making the decisions that bring you further. AND follow this sequence. Nothing can stop you, if you do that.

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