In fact, I would argue that it can be positive. When I have asked about what areas you would like me to cover, I have got some questions about loneliness, which is what I decided to dedicate this article to. There is quite a lot of people who get depressed and anxious because they feel like they are too lonely. They feel like they don’t have many people around. I have been through this experience myself with the difference that I brought this on myself. It was the time when I realised that most people in my life are simply not the kind of people I want to stay around. This happened because I finally understood how important and how influential our associations can be. I have spent a lot of time alone, focusing on personal growth and actively seeking like-minded people. Even though I was alone, I knew that there are people who will support me in every situation. They might not have been with me physically, but I felt their presence inside. Although I was alone for most of the time, I never felt lonely. This was also because I understood that I was going through a process of growth and development and that I would eventually attract like-minded people into my life. In this article, I want to talk about why being alone and being lonely is not the same thing and about how being alone can actually benefit us.
I Am Alone All The Time…
Saying I know how you feel is an understatement. As I have said above, I have experienced the same feeling. When I moved from China to the UK many things in my life changed. I left all the people I knew, I went through a relationship crises followed by a break up with the girl I loved and that all happened in the time span of a few months. Although I might have gone through some hardships, looking back at that time now provides me with many important lessons I would have not learned if that wouldn’t have happened. I understood a lot about how a relationship should work (in my eyes) and I have learned a lot of stuff about myself I did not even realise I didn’t know before. Even though things were pretty hectic, I was able to get up and start running again (metaphorically). All of this learning that has happened in the last half a year or so would have never happened if it wasn’t for that hardship and if it wasn’t for me staying alone for most of my day. The “alone time” truly provided me with an incredible opportunity to learn. I was able to understand the meaning of fighting the battle within, rather than the battle without. This experience has shaped me and continues to shape me into the person I am becoming. It taught me how to be happy from within, it helped me learn about what I really want in life and what I really value in people.
The reason why I am pouring out my struggles and my learnings here is to show you that although you might feel like you’re stuck now, there is a way out that can actually turn this experience into a huge learning for yourself.
This Is On You!
Before I get into how I utilised my “alone time,” I want to make sure that you understand that staying alone and feeling lonely are two separate things. When you are alone, you are physically on your own, but you are mentally aware of the fact that there are people who love you and who support you no matter what – be that your parents, your friends or in some cases you. Feeling lonely is a completely different case. When you feel lonely, you have consciously put your subconscious mind into the state where you practically believe that there is nobody around you, not even you, who believes in you and who cares. This is a practical result of your own thinking. Nothing has caused this other than your own perception of the way things are. If you want to change the way you think about this issue, you need to change your words and your thoughts. That is what I did. I understood that I can control how I feel and what I think and shifted my thoughts from negativity and “loneliness” to positivity, blessings, love, gratitude and happiness.
It’s Your Time!
When you spend a lot of time alone, you either give up and turn into short-term self-satisfying procrastinator who is always depressed, or you stand up on your feet and build yourself up. If you try to look at your situation from an objective perspective, being alone can sometimes actually help. All the attention that you would have given to others can now be redirected to you. That can be good, but it can also ruin your confidence. This comes down to whether you compare yourself to some idealised model out there, or whether your only point of comparison is you yesterday. I understood that it was all about me, about how I thought and about how I made myself feel. That was the time I understood that I had something amazing in my hands. I understood the purity of life, the colossal power hidden inside. I understood that the happiest people are the people who love themselves first and I understood that those people are also the ones who can share the purest kind of love with others. I learned probably the most important lesson of my life. I learned that we all possess the power to influence what is within, which then allows us to influence what is without.
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