A couple of days ago, I have started reading a book called Dynamic People Skills by Dexter Yager – one of the greatest leaders of the modern world. The way this book is written completely amazes me. It takes me much longer to go through the chapters just because I am making so many notes as I go through the book. In one of the first chapters, Dexter talks about the idea of adulthood. He says that many people are adults in terms of age but behave like children. He then looks at how this impacts the world we live in and how you can personally “grow up.” This is what I want to talk about in this article. Let’s hop in!
Dexter says that as an immature person, you have some characteristics you might not even be aware of. Naturally, if you want to grow up, you need to step out of these limitations. Here are some of the limitations he talks about (you can look for the rest of them in his book).
Living in The Immediate
Teenagers make impulsive decisions, they are pretty much driven by constant gratification. Dexter says that they live in the “right here, right now” without really considering the consequences of their actions. The idea of instant gratification keeps them hungry for the instant feeling of pleasure, which is also connected to another characteristic of adolescents. They are dominated by emotions. Simply put, when your feelings control what you do, your thinking is limited. Think back, have you bought something just because you “felt like it?” That is the reason why most people have issues with credit debt – they have not grown up and they allow their emotions to affect their thinking on the spot.
Short on Discipline
Discipline is a struggle for many. Can you discipline yourself to wake up early? Can you discipline yourself to eat healthily? Can you discipline yourself to work out regularly? Many of these areas are major struggles for most people around us. Dexter says that teenagers take discipline as a drag and a burden. Adults understand that discipline is what frees you. It frees you to succeed. Nobody else will do it for you, you need to discipline yourself to grow up.
Limited Knowledge without Knowledge of The Limits
Teenagers are limited in the knowledge of life, sex, people and experience. However, they are not aware of these limitations. They are not aware of the fact that they don’t know what they don’t know. One of the steps to maturity is understanding and accepting the fact that you do not know everything. People don’t grow up, because they think that they have already grown up and experienced everything not facing the reality.
Operating from A Sentimentality Base – Not A Reality Base
This is something I can relate to and I need to work on. Imagining too many things without seeing reality. A great example is this story from Dexter’s book. One of his friends, Ron (the co-author of the book), told him a story from his college times. He saw a very beautiful lady at the campus and he “got a crush” on her. He never spoke to her, she lived more than 400 miles away. Yet he developed this image of great romance in his mind. He decided that he would marry her and went to see her at her distanced home. When he got there, reality slapped him in his face. She was already dating someone else and she didn’t even know who Ron was. He learned a crucial lesson at that moment. He couldn’t possibly think that he would marry her, he never even properly spoke to her!
This is something pretty much every teenager falls into and most people never escape. People hunger for acceptance. They always want to fit in, they want to be liked by everyone. If you ask me what is the reason why most people give up on their dreams and goals? This is it. In order to fit into something, we call “the trend,” people absolutely disregard their own direction in life. Adults understand that not everyone has the same values and principles and that if they want to achieve greatness, they need to follow their own path, not someone else’s path.