3 Steps to Confidence in Dealing With People
We live in an era where our confidence is continuously tested. The interconnectedness of the world constantly exposes us to the situations wherein we are challenged again and again. One of the most serious examples being the ability to instantly compare ourselves to someone else. The houses, the cars, the vacations, the success that we can see on social media pose a great danger to our confidence every single day. This is because most people’s minds are programmed from their young age in a way that promotes a hierarchy of their social circles.
We are always measured, we are always compared with others. Elementary school, high school, university, job applications, competitions, social class separation… We are constantly being told that we are superior to someone and that someone is superior to us. That is a serious problem. How can we deal with it? How can we begin to rebuild our confidence levels so that we approach situations with a high self-belief and with a calm mind? In this article, we will be sharing 3 steps you can utilise to develop stronger confidence.
#1 Deny Superiority
The first and the core issue people who are not confident in themselves face is comparison. They perceive the people around them either as superior or as inferior to them. The moment you see someone as inferior to you is the moment you will identify as an inferior person to someone else. If you buy into this thought-paradigm, you can be sure that you will always feel anxious. You will always struggle with confidence. There will always be someone superior to you and the thought of that won’t leave you alone.
Forget about ranking people. Everybody knows something you don’t, in that you can learn from them. Nobody is holistically better than you, nobody is holistically worse than you. Identify the areas you can learn from others, get in submission and learn from them in these areas. Offer your helping hand to those who know less in the area you are proficient in. Treat people equally and you will feel much more confident in your actions.
#2 Confidence Is Contagious
Show me the people you spend most of your time with and I will show you your future. This especially applies in the area of confidence. If you surround yourself with confident people, you will develop confidence as well. Confident people are uplifters, they bring out the best from others. People who seem confident, but try to attack you are not confident at all. If you are confident in yourself, why do you have to remind me that you are better than me? To me, that screams anxiety. Confident people will never put you down, they will pull you up.
#3 Put A Few Wins Under Your Belt
As we always repeat, we are habitual beings. We think and act in cycles. Get your habits right and you will act right. Confidence is no exception. Think about sports. There is a reason why the football team on the top of the league continues to win and the team at the bottom of the league stays on the bottom. The quality of the team oftentimes isn’t the only problem. Wins and loses become habitual as well. Although no team goes into a game with the mindset of definite loss, the top team subconsciously knows that they are more likely to win and thus will play very confidently. On the other hand, the last team of the league subconsciously knows that there is a reason why they are at the bottom and will subconsciously assume another loss.
How do you make a losing team win then? Face them against someone they can beat with ease. Set up a few friendly matches with teams from lower leagues. They will learn something and your team will boost its confidence. Apply this in your personal context and get your winning streak running.
Look at the 3 steps closely, try to collect the instances where you can apply these steps in your personal life. Write them down and focus on one at a time. Practice denying your superiority. Look for confident people and spend more time with them. Develop a winning streak and get back on track confidently!