The Golden Rule

I don’t have much time today to write anything too long, so I decided to talk briefly about probably the single most important rule, the most important law of success each and every single one of us should live by. As it is mentioned in one of the verses in the Bible: So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12). This is not only something that people who see themselves as Christians should live by. It is the ultimate success principle that has been around for centuries. In this article, I want to talk about why we should carry this law in the back of our minds.

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Why?

The Golden rule is very much ingrained in the law of humanity. Pretty much every country has a form of this rule somewhat included in its law. Why? Because it is the bottom line of everything we do. It is what keeps us from killing each other or stealing from each other. Now that is its very basic form. It is also very much present in our daily lives. We are taught to live by this law in every situation, we always think about what impact will our behaviour have on the other party… Or do we?

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Self-centred Society

The reason I wanted to write about this hopefully obvious law is that I have a feeling that it is not as obvious as it should be, at least not to most people in modern society. In recent years, something has happened. We are taught that we should focus on ourselves, we should disregard the people around ourselves and that the consequences of our actions should concern us only in case they affect our lives. How does that make any sense? We, as human beings, are interconnected with each other, interconnected with the environment we live in. How does it make sense to kill the lungs of the Earth? How does it make sense to have these retarded stereotypes? If you think deeply, the Golden Rule is not as golden as it used to be. Or at least it is not perceived so.

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The Wake-up Call

The Golden Rule is and should be in the centre of our thoughts every day. It is the only way to live in a peaceful, understanding and loving world. The only way for everyone to live happily is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is as simple as that. That is the bottom line.

Let this article serve as a reminder for you. Think back about your day, how many good deeds have you done? How many people have you positively impacted? How many have you helped? What about nature? How have you made sure that it is staying, sustainable and healthy for the next generations to come? Yep, the law also applies in this sense. Think and remind yourself, love! The best way you can make an impact is to start with your close environment, with the people around you. The effect will spread, don’t worry about that. But we first need to start with a reflection on our own behaviour, that is the basics.

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Being Alone At Times Is Not As Bad As You Thought

In fact, I would argue that it can be positive. When I have asked about what areas you would like me to cover, I have got some questions about loneliness, which is what I decided to dedicate this article to. There is quite a lot of people who get depressed and anxious because they feel like they are too lonely. They feel like they don’t have many people around. I have been through this experience myself with the difference that I brought this on myself. It was the time when I realised that most people in my life are simply not the kind of people I want to stay around. This happened because I finally understood how important and how influential our associations can be. I have spent a lot of time alone, focusing on personal growth and actively seeking like-minded people. Even though I was alone, I knew that there are people who will support me in every situation. They might not have been with me physically, but I felt their presence inside. Although I was alone for most of the time, I never felt lonely. This was also because I understood that I was going through a process of growth and development and that I would eventually attract like-minded people into my life. In this article, I want to talk about why being alone and being lonely is not the same thing and about how being alone can actually benefit us.

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I Am Alone All The Time…

Saying I know how you feel is an understatement. As I have said above, I have experienced the same feeling. When I moved from China to the UK many things in my life changed. I left all the people I knew, I went through a relationship crises followed by a break up with the girl I loved and that all happened in the time span of a few months. Although I might have gone through some hardships, looking back at that time now provides me with many important lessons I would have not learned if that wouldn’t have happened. I understood a lot about how a relationship should work (in my eyes) and I have learned a lot of stuff about myself I did not even realise I didn’t know before. Even though things were pretty hectic, I was able to get up and start running again (metaphorically). All of this learning that has happened in the last half a year or so would have never happened if it wasn’t for that hardship and if it wasn’t for me staying alone for most of my day. The “alone time” truly provided me with an incredible opportunity to learn. I was able to understand the meaning of fighting the battle within, rather than the battle without. This experience has shaped me and continues to shape me into the person I am becoming. It taught me how to be happy from within, it helped me learn about what I really want in life and what I really value in people.

The reason why I am pouring out my struggles and my learnings here is to show you that although you might feel like you’re stuck now, there is a way out that can actually turn this experience into a huge learning for yourself.

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This Is On You!

Before I get into how I utilised my “alone time,” I want to make sure that you understand that staying alone and feeling lonely are two separate things. When you are alone, you are physically on your own, but you are mentally aware of the fact that there are people who love you and who support you no matter what – be that your parents, your friends or in some cases you. Feeling lonely is a completely different case. When you feel lonely, you have consciously put your subconscious mind into the state where you practically believe that there is nobody around you, not even you, who believes in you and who cares. This is a practical result of your own thinking. Nothing has caused this other than your own perception of the way things are. If you want to change the way you think about this issue, you need to change your words and your thoughts. That is what I did. I understood that I can control how I feel and what I think and shifted my thoughts from negativity and “loneliness” to positivity, blessings, love, gratitude and happiness.

It’s Your Time!

When you spend a lot of time alone, you either give up and turn into short-term self-satisfying procrastinator who is always depressed, or you stand up on your feet and build yourself up. If you try to look at your situation from an objective perspective, being alone can sometimes actually help. All the attention that you would have given to others can now be redirected to you. That can be good, but it can also ruin your confidence. This comes down to whether you compare yourself to some idealised model out there, or whether your only point of comparison is you yesterday. I understood that it was all about me, about how I thought and about how I made myself feel. That was the time I understood that I had something amazing in my hands. I understood the purity of life, the colossal power hidden inside. I understood that the happiest people are the people who love themselves first and I understood that those people are also the ones who can share the purest kind of love with others. I learned probably the most important lesson of my life. I learned that we all possess the power to influence what is within, which then allows us to influence what is without.

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The Words of Influence

We live in a world where influence and “exposure” became terms of necessity. Numbers and numbers of people and companies are trying to reach out to you consciously and unconsciously every minute of the day. This is because they understand how much they can affect what you like, what you think and what you believe. In short, they can influence you as a person to the extent that what they want you to think becomes a mainstream thought – most people will start thinking in this way. This has been especially the case in the recent decade when digital media developed to the scale where the people behind these adds have the power to reach out to you without you actively looking for their help. In the past, businesses aimed to answer an already existing need or want. Now, they are turning to need and want creation. This can be done through heavy marketing. Heavy to the extent which limits your ability of ignorance. They are able to basically make you feel like you need something, even though you don’t. Apart from this perspective, you should also think about this in a personal sense. Who do you listen to? Who do you allow to have a greater influence over what you do? This is what I will be looking into throughout this article.

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External Influences

You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. That is the number one factor you need to worry about. What do your friends talk about? Where are they heading? Are they stuck in the past, or are they forward-looking? Are they process-oriented or are they outcome-oriented? Are they always complaining, or are they bringing positivity into your life? Apart from the people closest to you, you also need to make sure that you are not consuming anything that would be pulling you away from where you want to be – that is mentally or physically. Are you dealing with depression? Stop reading depressing quotes on IG. Are you dealing with a break-up? Stop listening to all those break-up songs. Doing this will allow you to limit the negative influences of the outside world so that you can control your own thinking and your own direction. To fully understand how to do this, check out our article here.

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The #1 Person You Listen To

You need to identify this person in your life. Who do you go to for advice? I strongly believe that if we want to achieve something, we need to find a person who is already there and who is willing to help us get there as well. Why? Because that person has gone through most of the hard stuff you won’t necessarily have to go through, if you follow that person’s tips. How do you find that person? That is very specific to your situation. Make sure it’s not some random online mentor who will take your money but doesn’t devote any time to you. Make sure you work with someone who actually cares about your success, someone with whom you can create a personal bond that will stick for a lifetime. When I have done that, it has changed my life. There are numbers and numbers of people out there who say “I have a mentor.” But if you ask them how often they meet that person, they will probably say something like “once a month” or “never.”

The People You Don’t Listen To

The other side of the coin is the people you need to identify in order to not listen to them. I think that this is also very specific to what kind of situation you find yourself in. Is it a mental problem? You might consider talking about that with your parents or with someone who has been through that and can offer advice, but you won’t go to your second best friend who is the most negative person you know for advice. Are you looking to build the business? Maybe it’s not the best idea to talk to your doctor parents that have spent their entire life in a hospital with no connection to the business world whatsoever. In short, make sure you listen to the people who have the fruit on the tree. Would you go to the coniferous forest looking for apples? I doubt it!

When making a decision, it is always good to have an external perspective. However, you need to be able to differentiate positive criticism (that involves negative feedback as well) from negative criticism (which is just a bunch of insults or negative words). Make sure that the person who makes the decision is you, not your friends nor your parents!

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The Decision That Changes Everything

Anything we do, be it getting a university degree, learning how to drive or starting a business requires some kind of effort, some kind of action we have to take. We all know this, but most of us will never achieve any kind of greater success. Of course, success is relative to the capacity of your thought. Some might argue that reaching a million dollar balance in your bank account is a success, some claim that a billion is a success. That depends purely on the scale, which you can apply to your dream. However, reaching any greater success requires overcoming a challenge. It requires you stepping out of your comfort zone to make a move. And it requires you executing this action over and over again. In other words, it requires consistency and persistence. These requirements are also the reason why many of you will never succeed. It might sound harsh, but the numbers do not lie. In this article, I want to focus on one of the factors that separate the successful from the average in any area of success you can think of. The decision.

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Just Play It Safe

The decision everyone needs to make, but also the decision everyone fears. Anytime we really want to do something, build that business of our dreams, we face this inner argument. It is the safe but not so profitable way or the risky but very promising way. Which one do you take? The major mistake most people make is that they go half-pregnant. How can you do that?! There is no such thing. Exactly, yet most people practically do that. We really want to build our dream, yet we procrastinate. We really want to build our dream, yet we are afraid to stand behind it. In my eyes, it is an easy choice. It is better to stand up for something than to fall for anything. But it seems to me that most people have a different perspective on this issue. They get excited, they struggle, they complain and they quit. Why? Because they do everything halfway. They build their business, yet they procrastinate. They go to the gym, yet they go out drinking. They simply fail to make the most important decision. The decision to go all in.Výsledek obrázku pro all or nothing

All or Nothing

This is the decision that makes you stand out. This is the decision that is necessary for your success. Do you want to play it safe? Success is not for you. Playing it safe might have worked 50 years ago, but it definitely will not work now. Get over it. The moment you decide to go all in is the moment you will start seeing results. The moment you decide that this is the most important thing in your life is the moment you will start focusing like never before. The moment you decide that this is your priority is the moment you will start ignoring procrastination and other useless stuff in your life that has been holding you back for so long. Look at any successful entrepreneur out there. Truth or false – Bill Gates started Microsoft part-time as he was also a pizza delivery guy… False! He sat down in his garage and he worked and worked and worked and coded and coded and coded until he came up with something that has led him to the success we can now observe in the form of Microsoft. What has he done? He made the decision to prioritize and to make it happen. This was the only way. He made sure that there was no other back door. This was it and this is why he has succeeded.

Make the decision and watch your dream opening up in front of your eyes.

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Take Full Control of Your Mind

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog” (Mark Twain). Our mind can be our ultimate weapon, or it can be our ultimate weakness. Nobody can affect your mental state more than you. You are the ultimate master of your mind, that is if you know how to control it. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of this and keep on flowing through mood and anxiety swings. I realise that this is one of the core issues of the modern society, but I feel like it has been sort of a taboo subject. I feel like many perceive anxiety and depression as something abnormal, something crazy. It feels like most people think that having anxiety or depression is a sign of insanity. Well, let me tell you – it’s not. Anxiety and depression is a common mental problem many, if not most people deal with earlier or later during their life. What I want to focus on in this article is my experience with anxiety and on some tips to reduce it or to get completely rid of it. Bear in mind that I am not a professional psychiatrist. What I will be talking about is my personal experience and the methods that I have read about and personally applied in real life.

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Everybody Is Judging Me

It is almost impossible to not experience the feeling of being judged by everyone. Especially in the era we live in. We are constantly exposed to the examples of how we should look like or how we should behave. We live in the information time, where media is the core of everything. From the moment we open our eyes when we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, sometimes even when we’re sleeping, we are exposed to some kind of digital input. This ranges from the social media on our phones, the news in the tv or on the billboards in the streets. We can never escape it unless we really, really try. Now this can have its upsides, but it also has its downsides. If you know how to utilise this fact, you can make an enormous impact on peoples’ lives, but if you don’t know how to protect yourself, you can fall into that judgment trap of the modern society very easily. Why do we care so much about what others think? Because we are led towards that concept. Social media is based on people caring about others. That is what drives it. Most people spend loads of time on social media, thus most people consume this kind of culture. What do you think happens once you step out from your house? You will instantly feel judged like you do on social media. Only that now you can’t filter stuff. You are you, the real you. When I was younger, anytime I would step outside I would feel like people would instantly start judging me. I would not necessarily think about it, it was more of a subconscious feeling, something you think that your can’t control, unless you know that you can. As a result of this, there is huge amounts of people feeling insecure, looking into the ground when walking on the street. Or on the other side, people feeling insecure, running their egos high by insulting others to make themselves feel better. Yep, you heard it. If you laugh at others, you are only giving in to your own insecurity. This is something I have realised only a short while ago. The people who bully and offend others are themselves very insecure, sometimes even in pain. But they don’t know how to communicate it, so they choose to hide it and try to push others down to raise their  self-impression higher.

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Can I Control Anxiety?

As I mentioned above, anxiety is something that comes unconsciously. It’s not like we consciously decide to be anxious… Does that mean we can’t control when it comes, or whether it comes at all? Not really. We can control it, it is only that most of us have no idea how. There are quiet a few methods I have studied and applied to control the state of my mind, which has helped me maintain its clarity. Let’s first look at some ways I personally use to control both my conscious and subconscious mind.

The Spoken Word

The way I speak to myself is probably the most effective way I use to control my mind. Show me what your words are now and I will show you how your future looks like. You become what you speak. When I spoke negative, I got negative – both in the physical world and in my mind. However, when I started speaking positive and good stuff into my life, I started seeing a positive change not only in the way I thought, but also in everything that has started happening to me. When I realised the power of this, I have started utilising it. I have started speaking gratefulness into my life, I have started speaking my goals as if they have already happened. And guess what, they actually started happening. I started talking about my business growing, I started speaking about me building other leaders who want to do the same – make this world a better place. And the law of attraction has started kicking in. In short, you need to speak not what you have that you don’t want, but what you want that you don’t have. And you need to speak it in the present, as if you already have it. “I love the people around myself, I respect them and they respect me back. I love my life and the people in it. I am so lucky, because (…) and that is why I am grateful to be where I am, alive.” Create something like this sequence and speak it out loud many times a day. I know mentors who have scheduled their alarms for every hour of the day just to consciously speak out a few sentences like that. Why so often? Because what you do consciously regularly will be embedded into your unconscious. Make that happen and you will see the results. To learn more about the power of the spoken word, check out this article of ours!

We All Have Something

You are special, but not in this sense. Everyone has their own issues and you are not an exception. We all have something we are insecure about, something we are not proud of. The difference between the people who are anxious about it and the people who are not is that the people who tackled anxiety learned to be proud of their weaknesses. They understand that we all have something and that the only person who decides how we deal with it is us. At the end of the day, you are the only one who determines whether you can handle anxiety or not. It is completely in your hands, but it is a long-term fight. You can’t shift your mindset in a period of a few days. It takes a continuous effort and consistence.

They Actually Don’t Care

When you step out of your room and you feel like everyone is constantly judging you because of your acne, your new jacket that you’re not used to wearing or some other external thing, you need to understand that most people actually don’t care. Look at is from your own perspective. When you see someone on the street who has a funny hairstyle, how long do you think about it? Probably like 5 seconds and then you mind your own business. This is true for most people. The people who see you with that new jacket will probably think about it for a few seconds and then will forget about ever seeing it. Like I said before, everyone has their own issues that they care about much more than about what kind of clothes you wear.

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A Little Tip on How to Calm Down When It Comes

But what if it comes before I learn how to control my mind? How can I “escape” that feeling in the moment? There is a technique I personally find super useful not only for anxiety attacks, but also for getting my body to fall asleep. It’s called the 4-7-8 breathing. It essentially helps you calm down and reduce your breathing frequency and pulse by oxygenating your body. Click here to learn how to use it. WARNING – don’t use this if you already have a slow pulse.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is, we all have something to be insecure about and most people mind their own business. At the end of the day, not many people on the street really care about how you look like or what you do. You define you, you are loved, you are important and you are amazing! Focus on yourself, grow as a person, learn to control your mind and laugh. Who doesn’t laugh doesn’t live.

 

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