The Decision That Changes Everything

Anything we do, be it getting a university degree, learning how to drive or starting a business requires some kind of effort, some kind of action we have to take. We all know this, but most of us will never achieve any kind of greater success. Of course, success is relative to the capacity of your thought. Some might argue that reaching a million dollar balance in your bank account is a success, some claim that a billion is a success. That depends purely on the scale, which you can apply to your dream. However, reaching any greater success requires overcoming a challenge. It requires you stepping out of your comfort zone to make a move. And it requires you executing this action over and over again. In other words, it requires consistency and persistence. These requirements are also the reason why many of you will never succeed. It might sound harsh, but the numbers do not lie. In this article, I want to focus on one of the factors that separate the successful from the average in any area of success you can think of. The decision.

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Just Play It Safe

The decision everyone needs to make, but also the decision everyone fears. Anytime we really want to do something, build that business of our dreams, we face this inner argument. It is the safe but not so profitable way or the risky but very promising way. Which one do you take? The major mistake most people make is that they go half-pregnant. How can you do that?! There is no such thing. Exactly, yet most people practically do that. We really want to build our dream, yet we procrastinate. We really want to build our dream, yet we are afraid to stand behind it. In my eyes, it is an easy choice. It is better to stand up for something than to fall for anything. But it seems to me that most people have a different perspective on this issue. They get excited, they struggle, they complain and they quit. Why? Because they do everything halfway. They build their business, yet they procrastinate. They go to the gym, yet they go out drinking. They simply fail to make the most important decision. The decision to go all in.Výsledek obrázku pro all or nothing

All or Nothing

This is the decision that makes you stand out. This is the decision that is necessary for your success. Do you want to play it safe? Success is not for you. Playing it safe might have worked 50 years ago, but it definitely will not work now. Get over it. The moment you decide to go all in is the moment you will start seeing results. The moment you decide that this is the most important thing in your life is the moment you will start focusing like never before. The moment you decide that this is your priority is the moment you will start ignoring procrastination and other useless stuff in your life that has been holding you back for so long. Look at any successful entrepreneur out there. Truth or false – Bill Gates started Microsoft part-time as he was also a pizza delivery guy… False! He sat down in his garage and he worked and worked and worked and coded and coded and coded until he came up with something that has led him to the success we can now observe in the form of Microsoft. What has he done? He made the decision to prioritize and to make it happen. This was the only way. He made sure that there was no other back door. This was it and this is why he has succeeded.

Make the decision and watch your dream opening up in front of your eyes.

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Take Full Control of Your Mind

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog” (Mark Twain). Our mind can be our ultimate weapon, or it can be our ultimate weakness. Nobody can affect your mental state more than you. You are the ultimate master of your mind, that is if you know how to control it. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of this and keep on flowing through mood and anxiety swings. I realise that this is one of the core issues of the modern society, but I feel like it has been sort of a taboo subject. I feel like many perceive anxiety and depression as something abnormal, something crazy. It feels like most people think that having anxiety or depression is a sign of insanity. Well, let me tell you – it’s not. Anxiety and depression is a common mental problem many, if not most people deal with earlier or later during their life. What I want to focus on in this article is my experience with anxiety and on some tips to reduce it or to get completely rid of it. Bear in mind that I am not a professional psychiatrist. What I will be talking about is my personal experience and the methods that I have read about and personally applied in real life.

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Everybody Is Judging Me

It is almost impossible to not experience the feeling of being judged by everyone. Especially in the era we live in. We are constantly exposed to the examples of how we should look like or how we should behave. We live in the information time, where media is the core of everything. From the moment we open our eyes when we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, sometimes even when we’re sleeping, we are exposed to some kind of digital input. This ranges from the social media on our phones, the news in the tv or on the billboards in the streets. We can never escape it unless we really, really try. Now this can have its upsides, but it also has its downsides. If you know how to utilise this fact, you can make an enormous impact on peoples’ lives, but if you don’t know how to protect yourself, you can fall into that judgment trap of the modern society very easily. Why do we care so much about what others think? Because we are led towards that concept. Social media is based on people caring about others. That is what drives it. Most people spend loads of time on social media, thus most people consume this kind of culture. What do you think happens once you step out from your house? You will instantly feel judged like you do on social media. Only that now you can’t filter stuff. You are you, the real you. When I was younger, anytime I would step outside I would feel like people would instantly start judging me. I would not necessarily think about it, it was more of a subconscious feeling, something you think that your can’t control, unless you know that you can. As a result of this, there is huge amounts of people feeling insecure, looking into the ground when walking on the street. Or on the other side, people feeling insecure, running their egos high by insulting others to make themselves feel better. Yep, you heard it. If you laugh at others, you are only giving in to your own insecurity. This is something I have realised only a short while ago. The people who bully and offend others are themselves very insecure, sometimes even in pain. But they don’t know how to communicate it, so they choose to hide it and try to push others down to raise their  self-impression higher.

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Can I Control Anxiety?

As I mentioned above, anxiety is something that comes unconsciously. It’s not like we consciously decide to be anxious… Does that mean we can’t control when it comes, or whether it comes at all? Not really. We can control it, it is only that most of us have no idea how. There are quiet a few methods I have studied and applied to control the state of my mind, which has helped me maintain its clarity. Let’s first look at some ways I personally use to control both my conscious and subconscious mind.

The Spoken Word

The way I speak to myself is probably the most effective way I use to control my mind. Show me what your words are now and I will show you how your future looks like. You become what you speak. When I spoke negative, I got negative – both in the physical world and in my mind. However, when I started speaking positive and good stuff into my life, I started seeing a positive change not only in the way I thought, but also in everything that has started happening to me. When I realised the power of this, I have started utilising it. I have started speaking gratefulness into my life, I have started speaking my goals as if they have already happened. And guess what, they actually started happening. I started talking about my business growing, I started speaking about me building other leaders who want to do the same – make this world a better place. And the law of attraction has started kicking in. In short, you need to speak not what you have that you don’t want, but what you want that you don’t have. And you need to speak it in the present, as if you already have it. “I love the people around myself, I respect them and they respect me back. I love my life and the people in it. I am so lucky, because (…) and that is why I am grateful to be where I am, alive.” Create something like this sequence and speak it out loud many times a day. I know mentors who have scheduled their alarms for every hour of the day just to consciously speak out a few sentences like that. Why so often? Because what you do consciously regularly will be embedded into your unconscious. Make that happen and you will see the results. To learn more about the power of the spoken word, check out this article of ours!

We All Have Something

You are special, but not in this sense. Everyone has their own issues and you are not an exception. We all have something we are insecure about, something we are not proud of. The difference between the people who are anxious about it and the people who are not is that the people who tackled anxiety learned to be proud of their weaknesses. They understand that we all have something and that the only person who decides how we deal with it is us. At the end of the day, you are the only one who determines whether you can handle anxiety or not. It is completely in your hands, but it is a long-term fight. You can’t shift your mindset in a period of a few days. It takes a continuous effort and consistence.

They Actually Don’t Care

When you step out of your room and you feel like everyone is constantly judging you because of your acne, your new jacket that you’re not used to wearing or some other external thing, you need to understand that most people actually don’t care. Look at is from your own perspective. When you see someone on the street who has a funny hairstyle, how long do you think about it? Probably like 5 seconds and then you mind your own business. This is true for most people. The people who see you with that new jacket will probably think about it for a few seconds and then will forget about ever seeing it. Like I said before, everyone has their own issues that they care about much more than about what kind of clothes you wear.

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A Little Tip on How to Calm Down When It Comes

But what if it comes before I learn how to control my mind? How can I “escape” that feeling in the moment? There is a technique I personally find super useful not only for anxiety attacks, but also for getting my body to fall asleep. It’s called the 4-7-8 breathing. It essentially helps you calm down and reduce your breathing frequency and pulse by oxygenating your body. Click here to learn how to use it. WARNING – don’t use this if you already have a slow pulse.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is, we all have something to be insecure about and most people mind their own business. At the end of the day, not many people on the street really care about how you look like or what you do. You define you, you are loved, you are important and you are amazing! Focus on yourself, grow as a person, learn to control your mind and laugh. Who doesn’t laugh doesn’t live.

 

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You Are Asking The Wrong Questions

The society we live in is seriously messed up. How come? Why are there so many people who hate their lives? Why are there so many people who find themselves in their 80s with nothing but regrets? The reason is – we are programmed by the society to think in a very specific way. We are all pressured by the society to follow the tradition. Our minds are formed into this sheep mindset, just do what others tell you to do, follow the crowd, get a good education, work for 40 years of your life and you’ll be set. But will you? The reason why most people never really question this mindset is, they simply ask the wrong questions. They look for the “What” and the “How” ignoring the most important question there is – the “Why“.

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Mindset Transformation

As I went through my basic education and high school, I have always thought about what I wanted to do and how I will get there. Education was always the answer. Get a good degree, find a good job and you’re set, is what I had embedded in my mind. I finished my high school in Beijing, China where I had the privilege to attend an international school. I saw this as a major boost in my potential in the academic and the employment world. A European guy, who has traveled around the world, studied in 3 different languages and reached a great level of success in his education – this is what I thought would make me successful. And I reached exactly that – I got an offer from a few of the best universities in the world. This was something I was particularly proud about. I was the first one from my family who reached this level, the first one who studied abroad, the first one who could speak Chinese, the first one who had such a great potential. What I missed was the bottom line of everything. I never really asked myself “How do you want to live your life?” I never thought about the “Why” behind what I was doing. What has happened then completely shifted my mindset. One of the unis I had a conditional offer for declined it and I thought to myself “This is it, I am done with.” I was really stressed for a period of time. I decided to hide it because I didn’t want others to see me fail, I didn’t want to be a nuisance to others. What I didn’t understand back then was that this event was a blessing. I started looking for a way out of this crap. I started reading loads of self-development books, I started learning new things about myself and I really started focusing on my own personal development. How come? I still ask myself this question now. Maybe it was Rich Dad Poor Dad that has changed my perspective, maybe it was something else. Either way, shortly after this has happened, me and my friend started The Real Life Education. We were set to help others reach their goals through the journey of self-development and self-education – we wanted people to understand that the traditional education is not even close to the actual self-growth. Why? Because we learned it the hard way. At this moment of time, I have also met my current business team and mentor who have truly changed my mindset. They taught me to understand that whatever we do, we need to have a strong why, a strong reason. This was something that completely blew my mind back then, because I was never taught this lesson. Nobody ever asked me – “How do you want to live your life?” The only thing I have been asked was: “What do you want to do when you grow up?”

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Asking The Right Question

So what have I learned? Why are most people so depressed and regretful? It is exactly because they have been asking themselves the wrong questions throughout their lives. Many of us look to be investment bankers, accountants, financial asset managers, etc. But when we’re asked: “So why do you want to do this?” We are clueless. Actually, most people say that they really enjoy the job. REALLY?! If they would not pay you, would you still do the job? That’s what I thought… Absolutely not. We need to start asking ourselves the right questions! Why am I doing what I am doing? How do I want to live? How does my dream life look like? We need to set the final goal, the destination where we are going first. As Friedrich Nietzsche put it: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” We need to understand our purpose first, then we can look for a platform to reach that. Most people are climbing their ladders and they’re climbing them fast. What they don’t realise is that they are climbing the wrong ladder! Make sure your ladder is the correct one! And if it’s not, don’t just stop and climb down. You need to jump and look for a new ladder now!! Your time is precious, make it count.

 

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Where to Start?

You start at the beginning. Sit down, forget about anything you’ve been taught. Take a pen and paper and write/draw your dreams. Be as specific as possible. Do you want a house on the beach? Draw it out,  look up its picture and print it out for yourself. Do you want to help underprivileged kids? Write it down and identify what you need to do to be able to do that. Visualise your dreams, visualise your WHY.

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Why You Need to Stop Watching The News

Today, I’ll be talking about another crucial area of our lives that affects us incredibly, yet most people tend to completely ignore it. As you might’ve already guessed from the title, I’ll be looking at a very controversial topic – the influence of the news on our state of mind.  Paying attention to what’s happening in the world is something that is broadly accepted as an important part of one’s life. In the world of modern technology, it is very common for people to wake up and directly pick up their phones to learn about what’s happened in the world when they were asleep. Is paying attention to what is presented to us in the news something that benefits us in the long-run, or is it something that only helps the negative influences of the world around us hold us down?

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The Nature of The Modern News

Most people fail to realise that the companies that present us with the news very often, if not always, publish based on what they think will be read the most, based on what will give them a higher degree of exposure. Here comes the human nature into the game. We love to watch or to read about depressive, heavy stuff that happens in the world (eg. a terrorist attack, a natural catastrophe or a school shooting). The kind of events that attracts the average human mind sometimes scares me. Why do you need to know about a school shooting on the other side of the world? What can you do about it? How will it help you grow as a person? People often fail to ask themselves these questions and blindly follow the herd. If you look through today’s or yesterday’s news, half of it, if not most of it, will be something negative. That is the nature of the modern news. They focus on the bad, violent, angering stuff because that’s what brings them exposure, that’s what people read and that’s what people are most likely to discuss. They want you to get emotional about things, because you’re more likely to come back with a desire to look for more.

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You Are What You Consume

This is the reality, this is how our mind works. It’s like a computer. The more you look something up, the more likely it is to come up in your search suggestions. Your brain works the same way. The more you see the negative stuff, the more often will the negative stuff come up in your mind. The more often you consume positivity, the more positively will your brain think. It is all based on how you programme your brain. The way you programme your brain is based on many factors, such as your environment or the words you speak to yourself. In order to produce positivity, in order to live a positive life and to be a positive person, you first need to consume positivity, loads of it.

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How Can I Switch from Negativity to Positivity?!

This is a very complicated and long process. It won’t happen in a few days, maybe not even in a few weeks. You can’t simply forget all the negative stuff, that’s simply not how it works. As Bill Britt said, you can’t forget all the negative stuff without first remembering it (re-phrased). In order to re-programme your mind from negativity to positivity, you need to outnumber the negative pieces of your mind with the positive pieces. If you imagine a glass (your mind)  full of dirty water (negativity), you can’t simply empty it, because then your mind would be empty and it is very likely that you’ll fill it with dirty water again. What you need to do is start adding loads of clean water (positivity). What happens then? As you add more and more clear water, the concentration of the dirty water will progressively decrease and finally, you’ll end up with a glass full of nice and crystal clear water (a mind full of positivity). This metaphor is very practical – try it out yourself physically and you’ll see that it works!

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Should You Actually Stop Watching the News?!

You might be still thinking – I’ve never felt the affect of paying attention to the news. The thing is – it doesn’t affect your conscious mind, it works with your subconscious mind! You might not be aware of the influence it has on you, but if you don’t outnumber the negative stuff with positivity, you will be getting grumpier and grumpier and more and more depressed. This is how our subconscious mind works. What’s the bottom line? If you really need to watch or read the news (because of your job or whatever), make sure you consume some positivity after you finish watching – this way, you’ll at least dilute the negative stuff you’ve just read about. This way, you’ll at least minimise the damage in your battle against negativity. The fact that you stop watching the news doesn’t mean that you won’t hear about the bad stuff ever again – social media and the internet make it very hard to escape all the negativity. You will still need to consume positivity, but as I said before, you’ll tackle one of the aspects that influences you in a negative way.

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The Instant Gratifiaton Trap and Why You Need to Escape It

In the modern society, especially among the youngsters, it is a very common value that enjoying your life as much as you can now, being happy now and “living your life to the fullest” now is something that everyone should do. There is nothing wrong with these values, however the ways we understand these phrases are significantly corrupt. To enjoy your life, to live it to the fullest and to be happy is many times connected to the actions that lie inside our comfort zones, or simply to the things that make us feel better. How come? Doesn’t living your life to the fullest mean growing as a person and reaching for your goals and dreams – working towards them every day? That is what it is meant to mean. But if you ask an average person why they go out drinking 2-3 times a week, spend money on alcohol and spend time, the most valuable commodity we all have, in clubs and then in bed trying to get rid of the hangover instead of reading books, exercising and growing every day, the answer will be – “This is what makes me happy, I want to live my life to the fullest.” My next question would be, what about you in the next 5-10 years? How do you want to live your life in the future and what are you doing for it? Most people are not able to answer. So what’s wrong about this and why am I bringing this up? What went wrong is, most people in our society live on something called “instant gratification,” which is essentially focusing on their short-term happiness and completely forgetting about the longer run.

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Instant Gratification

This concept is something that is so engraved in the traditional way of thinking that it is almost a taboo talking about this. How come? This is because all the brands such as Mc’Donalds, KFC, Marlboro, Hennessy etc. are all based on this fundamental preference of many people. Let’s take the example of Marlboro. Marlboro is one of the most famous cigarette brands valued at 26.6B$ . Actually, we can take this a step further. The whole tobacco industry is based on instant gratification. What does that mean? It means that all their products are based on how they make you feel at the moment you use them.  They make people feel good at that specific moment, but they make them feel terrible in the long run. So how come people still use these products even though they know they will feel awfully bad later on, maybe even die as a result of using these products? The answer is – instant gratification.

This is how most people think, this is how most people’s brains are programmed. They want to feel good now and forget about the future and the brands like the ones I mentioned realise this fact and use it to their advantage. This is the reason we’re dealing with a huge amount of lung cancer patients that wouldn’t have to be so desperate if they would’ve understood the concept of instant gratification and how dangerous it really is.

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Delayed Gratification

So what should we do about this? How do I escape the trap of instant gratification? To start with, as with everything we teach, you first need a strong reason, a strong why you want to escape this trap. Be it your health, be it your dreams and goals, you need to figure out something that can motivate you internally, because external motivation can only take you so far. But what really matters is why you want to do this. Once you have figured out a strong why you should be able to see why trading long-term happiness for instant happiness kills your dreams in the long run. It is immensely important to understand that what you really want is usually something that takes lots of work and more importantly lots of personal growth.

Delayed gratification is the understanding of the fact that you need to do the hard work now in order to live the life you want to live later. This doesn’t mean that your next 5 years will be full of suffering. It means that your next 5 years should be years of growth and self-development. You can still hang out with your friends, if that is something that you feel like will personally develop you and push you towards your goals. But if you want to become the superstar football player and you want to train tomorrow in the morning, if you friends ask you to go out tonight you can guess what the best answer is (hint – sorry, I’ve got some goals to hunt). The concept of delayed gratification allows you to understand that each decision you make now needs to be made for the greater benefit in the long run. This is something we spoke about in one of our recent posts. If you want to learn how to make successful decisions, definitely do give it a read.

Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.

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