One of the most natural acts for a human being like me and you is to socialise. We have conversations all day, every day. What surprises me is the fact that most people have no idea how to handle a conversation, or how to lead one properly. Today, I want to talk about 3 major ways how you can direct a conversation towards a positive outcome that you might be looking for. Do you want to maintain your rent? Using these 3 methods to discuss this with the landlord will increase your chances tremendously. All of these 3 ideas come from the book called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Begin in A Friendly Way
Every conversation you ever have, be it to scold someone or to beg for something, should be started in a friendly way. This is the most basic skill of a successful conversationalist. Imagine that you are coming to one of your bosses to talk about your salary. What do you think will happen if you come up with an angry tone complaining that your coworkers are getting paid more for the same amount of job you do? What you hear is: “Boss, I have a family to feed, can you help me?” However, what your boss hears is: “Hey! You are the most unjust guy under the sun! How come you pay the others more than me?! You better increase my paycheck!” Always remember that starting a conversation is about making a good connection with the other person, which you can build on throughout the conversation. Don’t just get straight to the business, small talk matters. Utilise it to your advantage and get on a good side of the other person. Give a compliment, ask about the person’s mood and show that you care. This way, your conversations will become more positive and straight forward.
Get The Other Person Saying “Yes, yes” Immediately
This ability builds up on the first skill I spoke about. Creating a positive environment around the conversation is very important. After starting the conversation in a friendly way, your next goal is to reinforce the fact that you mean good in the other person’s mind. You want to reinforce the idea that you both have the same purpose in the conversation, although the method might differ. You can do this through putting through some questions you know the other person will agree to – will actively say “yes.” For instance, if you are meeting your landlord to discuss your rent, you might want to start talking about how nice the place is. You can choose sentences like: “I really like this place, it must have taken a lot of effort decorating it, right?” Or if you know anything more in detail about the landlord, you could say: “I know that there are some other tenants that are quite hard to deal with, it must have been hard on you.” Choose the sentences that you know he will probably agree with. This way, he will start thinking – this guy is really good, he’s kind and I agree with most of what he says. This conclusion will make a huge difference in the landlord’s attitude towards your request later on.
Let The Other Person Do A Great Deal of The Talking
Something that people love is to talk about their issues, about their views and about their experiences. Have you ever met someone who just threw up all his issues at you in the period of 10 minutes? People need to do that from time to time and the fact that you understand it and support it will make them love you. When you’re managing a conversation, ask a lot of questions and be patient with your answers. Let the other person finish completely and then ask questions to clarify or to expand on what they’ve already said. What this will do for you is that it will make them feel respected and appreciated, which gives you constant rapport and leniency from their side. In short, people should leave you happier than they were before they came to you and this is the way to achieve that.