Your Greatest Friend & Your Greatest Enemy

In the last couple of months, as I have been growing my business team, I have been speaking to a large number of people, my potential business partners. Whenever I speak to people, there is one specific area I want to tap into, in order to see whether they are someone I would like to spend more time with or whether they are someone who I should keep my distance from. That specific characteristic is the way they approach issues and more generally their life. In other words, their attitude. In my eyes, attitude is something that affects pretty much anything in our lives. If your attitude is rotten, it will be reflected in your life. If your attitude is pure and positive, it will be reflected in your life. Who you are, what you do and how you do it is all a reflection of your attitude, which is also the topic I’ll be looking at in this article.

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It Is Up To You

There is a saying: “God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.” This means that whatever happens to you, your attitude decides whether it breaks you or whether it makes you. You are the only person who decides whether what happens to you turns out to be positive, maybe a lesson, or negative, simply something that gives you nothing and that you only complain about. It is not about what we go through, it is about how we got through it. Your life experiences are about your attitude. Whatever mistake you make can turn out to be a positive lesson. However, this can happen only if you have the right attitude in place. “In every adversity, there is a seed of an equal or a greater opportunity” (Bill Britt). Every hardship you go through is hiding a potential gain. The difference maker is whether you’re able to see it or not, which is directly affected by your attitude. You can’t see something you’re not looking for.

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Your attitude is the difference maker in your life – be it positive or negative. I’ll talk about a few core points that are directly affected by the way you approach your life, your attitude.

#1 Adversity

One of the major areas of your life your attitude affects directly is how you approach adversity. If you employ a positive attitude, your ability to deal with hardships and turn them into growth opportunities significantly increases. If you’re stuck with a negative attitude, you will only make things worse. You will speak negative, you will complain, you will refuse to look for the way out and you will refuse to learn from your mistakes because you will refuse the fact that you are the one who made the mistakes in the first place. Employ positive attitude and control the roadblocks you encounter!

#2 Your Environment & Relationships

I believe that a positive attitude is the basic building block for a healthy relationship. In fact, it is very simple, the people with positive attitudes stick to the people with a positive attitude and the people who are negative stick to the people who are negative. Why? Because both of the groups seek the environment that reflects them, they attract it. If you love to complain, you will most likely seek the company of the people who will complain with you. If you seek to grow through your struggles, the people who always complain will make you feel sick. With a negative attitude, you blame others for your mistakes, you blame everyone except yourself. How can you have a healthy relationship like that?

#3 Success

Your attitude ultimately determines the degree of any kind of success you will achieve in your life. It does not matter what area we talk about. You have already lost the big game if you developed a crappy attitude. Success is about growing through and overcoming problems. Can you do that when you refuse to accept the mistakes you’ve made? Can you do that if you refuse to focus on the positive aspect of your life? (Clue – NO)

Can I Change?

Absolutely. It is a marathon, but attitude can be changed or corrected if you may. I suggest using an old but effective method. You first identify the areas in which you want to improve (complaining, gossip, refusing to accept your mistakes etc.). You carry a notebook with you and whenever you do something you’ve decided to change, you write it down. This way, you’ll systematically annoy the heck out of yourself, which will then lead to a change on behaviour. That is only the first step, the next steps are finding more positive associations and consuming more positivity. This will in return start growing the positive in your mind, which is a crucial part of developing your positive attitude.

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The #1 Most Valuable Commodity in The History of The World

I have wanted to write an article on this topic for quite a long time. This is because of the enormous number of conversations I’ve had with many many students here at university where I am now. I always enjoy talking to people about their dreams, their ambitions and how they plan to get there. After all, that is also one of the major reasons I am building this brand together with one of my close friends. I know that I have the power to positively affect millions of lives and I am not giving up on that, ever. However, that is not what I want to talk about in this article. In this text, I want to talk about the major mistake both young and old people in our society make. They think that money is central to our lives. Or it seems to me as if they did. More precisely, they spend most of their lives working for it, so it makes complete sense to assume that they do. Otherwise, they would not spend so much time doing that, that is if they could use common sense. Through these 1000ish words, I want to present you with the reality. Is money the most valuable commodity we have? Absolutely not. What is it then? And why do people spend most of their lives working for money with no aim of getting more of the most valuable commodity that we can have?

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Money Is Not Even Close

Many people think that money can solve all the problems of the modern world. That is true, to an extent… My mentor once told me – “money can solve 95% of all our issues. The rest depends on how much time you’ve got”. If that is so, how come money is not the most valuable commodity? That is because of the 5% of the problems it can’t solve. These problems are the most important ones. You can have all the money in the world, but if you lack in the most valuable commodity there is, which is also the commodity that can solve the remaining 5% of the problems, you can never really be free. Money can get you your dream house, but is it really worth it if you only use it to sleep over, because you need to work from AM to PM in order to have the money you want? You can have all the money in the world, but if you can’t enjoy it with the ones you love, is it really worth it? I want to spend most of my day with the people I love, not just a tiny part after I come home grumpy and tired after work. You can always make more money, you can always save it and you can always get it back. These are the reasons why it isn’t #1.

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And The Winner Is…

Time, time, time. Time is the number one most valuable commodity me and you can have. There is nothing more valuable in this world more time. How come? Time can never be saved, it can never be stopped, it can never be returned and it can never be gained. You only have 24 hours every day and some 100 years. That’s it. By the time you turn 60, you won’t be able to do most of the things you want to do now. Why? Time. Most people complain about their lives, their jobs and basically about whatever they can think of. Why? Time. If you had the time to do whatever you want to do, what would it be? Would it be the same stuff you do now? Or would you change something? Would you spend more time with the people you love? Would you spend more time doing the things you love to do? There are thousands of millionaires around the world who are terribly depressed. Why? Time. They work from the moment they get up until the moment they fall asleep. They have all the money, but they have no time to enjoy it. Is that what you call life?

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The Winners

The winners in life, the truly successful people aren’t the richest out there. They are the people who have the money that allows them to do what they want and the time that allows them to do what they want. The second best are the ones who have the time because they have still not fallen for the money-making trap. They still have the hope to not enter the rat race. Don’t make that mistake if you haven’t made it yet. If you have, learn and get the heck out!

Want to learn how to properly invest your time? Check out our free ebook HERE!

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The Words of Influence

We live in a world where influence and “exposure” became terms of necessity. Numbers and numbers of people and companies are trying to reach out to you consciously and unconsciously every minute of the day. This is because they understand how much they can affect what you like, what you think and what you believe. In short, they can influence you as a person to the extent that what they want you to think becomes a mainstream thought – most people will start thinking in this way. This has been especially the case in the recent decade when digital media developed to the scale where the people behind these adds have the power to reach out to you without you actively looking for their help. In the past, businesses aimed to answer an already existing need or want. Now, they are turning to need and want creation. This can be done through heavy marketing. Heavy to the extent which limits your ability of ignorance. They are able to basically make you feel like you need something, even though you don’t. Apart from this perspective, you should also think about this in a personal sense. Who do you listen to? Who do you allow to have a greater influence over what you do? This is what I will be looking into throughout this article.

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External Influences

You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with. That is the number one factor you need to worry about. What do your friends talk about? Where are they heading? Are they stuck in the past, or are they forward-looking? Are they process-oriented or are they outcome-oriented? Are they always complaining, or are they bringing positivity into your life? Apart from the people closest to you, you also need to make sure that you are not consuming anything that would be pulling you away from where you want to be – that is mentally or physically. Are you dealing with depression? Stop reading depressing quotes on IG. Are you dealing with a break-up? Stop listening to all those break-up songs. Doing this will allow you to limit the negative influences of the outside world so that you can control your own thinking and your own direction. To fully understand how to do this, check out our article here.

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The #1 Person You Listen To

You need to identify this person in your life. Who do you go to for advice? I strongly believe that if we want to achieve something, we need to find a person who is already there and who is willing to help us get there as well. Why? Because that person has gone through most of the hard stuff you won’t necessarily have to go through, if you follow that person’s tips. How do you find that person? That is very specific to your situation. Make sure it’s not some random online mentor who will take your money but doesn’t devote any time to you. Make sure you work with someone who actually cares about your success, someone with whom you can create a personal bond that will stick for a lifetime. When I have done that, it has changed my life. There are numbers and numbers of people out there who say “I have a mentor.” But if you ask them how often they meet that person, they will probably say something like “once a month” or “never.”

The People You Don’t Listen To

The other side of the coin is the people you need to identify in order to not listen to them. I think that this is also very specific to what kind of situation you find yourself in. Is it a mental problem? You might consider talking about that with your parents or with someone who has been through that and can offer advice, but you won’t go to your second best friend who is the most negative person you know for advice. Are you looking to build the business? Maybe it’s not the best idea to talk to your doctor parents that have spent their entire life in a hospital with no connection to the business world whatsoever. In short, make sure you listen to the people who have the fruit on the tree. Would you go to the coniferous forest looking for apples? I doubt it!

When making a decision, it is always good to have an external perspective. However, you need to be able to differentiate positive criticism (that involves negative feedback as well) from negative criticism (which is just a bunch of insults or negative words). Make sure that the person who makes the decision is you, not your friends nor your parents!

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Use These 3 Tips to Connect With Anyone

We live in a society where many people fear talking to strangers. Many people are able to verbally fight you on social media as if they were professional martial artists. The issue is, when they get to actually speak to people directly, they shy away. I am not saying that social media is the root of this problem, but the way people use it and the way people prioritize their methods of communication leaves them with little or no skill in terms of personal face-to-face communication. In his article, I aim to provide you with the 3 basic tips of interpersonal communication that can help you connect with pretty much anyone. Make sure you understand each of the tips and then practice. Communication is a skill – you need to practice loads and fail loads before you master it. Give it some time and you will see great results in your relationships as you will be able to deepen your conversations more effectively.Výsledek obrázku pro comic meeting a stranger

Ice Breaker

What do we first need to do to start a conversation? Breaking the ice is one of the scariest parts of having a conversation, which also makes it one of the harder parts (even though it is technically very simple). There are generally two ways you can do this. The first one is very simple – just say hi. Coming up to someone saying something like “Hi, how was your day?” is a very quick and straight forward way of starting a conversation. This has an advantage and a disadvantage. The good part is its simplicity – you don’t have to know much to do this. The bad part is the awkwardness and the lack of connection it might create. The connection you make with a person might not be strong enough to continue the conversation. A good solution for this issue would be following up the first sentence with a  question or with a compliment. That is also the second, more advanced method. Breaking the ice through a compliment is something very powerful. Why? Because we all love being complimented. Imagine a person coming up to you saying “Hey! I love your jacket, where did you get it?” This gives the person instant rapport and likability in your eyes. Use these two methods to break the ice when you want to speak to someone. Additionally, don’t be scared to talk to people. Most people will really appreciate if you have a short conversation with them. It is a great feeling if you compliment someone and improve their mood instantly! If you still feel a bit nervous about this, utilize the 5 Second Rule! What is the 5-second rule? We will definitely explain this in detail in one of our future articles. In short, when the idea of speaking to someone comes to your mind, you count from 5 to 1 and then you make a move. What this does for you is that it breaks the thought of doubt in your mind and skips directly to taking the action.

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Controlling The Direction of The Convo

What’s the best kind of conversation you can have? The one that you can control. Now don’t get me wrong – you don’t want to be a control freak or something like that. What you want to do though is ask loads of questions. Why? Because that is how you control the direction of a conversation. Being the one who asks questions allows you to direct the conversation and to deepen it much better. Bear in mind that in order to deepen the conversation, you need to ask open-ended questions, such as “What are your hobbies?” or “What do you think about …?” You don’t want to ask the kind of questions that can be answered by a yes/no or a one-word answer. You want the other person to talk as much as possible. Through the questions, you learn about the other person and you can take the conversation in the directions that will interest the other person. This will allow you to increase your likability and trust in the other person’s eyes. We all love talking about ourselves, so let the other person speak.

Always, Always Use Their Name

What makes you feel closer to the person? “What is your favorite football player?” or “What is your favorite player, James?” Using other people’s names will bring you even closer to them and will improve the connection between the two of you. Even more, the best way to remember a person’s name is by continuous repetition of the name in the conversation. An example would be:

A: What’s your name mate?

B: I am James. And yours?

A: I am Bob, nice to meet you, James. Are you a student here James?

B: Yeah, I am in my second year.

A: That is really cool, man. Do you do something outside of your studies James? Any sports or societies?

You can see that you don’t always have to say the name, but you should somewhat incorporate it into the convo. This will help you remember the person’s name and will create a sense of likability for you in the other person’s eyes.

Extra: Don’t Be Awkward

I know it can be hard at times to overcome the mental barrier and talk to someone, but the worst thing you can do is making things weird. Be yourself and use the tips from this article to improve your conversational skills. Most importantly, have fun!

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You Are Asking The Wrong Questions

The society we live in is seriously messed up. How come? Why are there so many people who hate their lives? Why are there so many people who find themselves in their 80s with nothing but regrets? The reason is – we are programmed by the society to think in a very specific way. We are all pressured by the society to follow the tradition. Our minds are formed into this sheep mindset, just do what others tell you to do, follow the crowd, get a good education, work for 40 years of your life and you’ll be set. But will you? The reason why most people never really question this mindset is, they simply ask the wrong questions. They look for the “What” and the “How” ignoring the most important question there is – the “Why“.

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Mindset Transformation

As I went through my basic education and high school, I have always thought about what I wanted to do and how I will get there. Education was always the answer. Get a good degree, find a good job and you’re set, is what I had embedded in my mind. I finished my high school in Beijing, China where I had the privilege to attend an international school. I saw this as a major boost in my potential in the academic and the employment world. A European guy, who has traveled around the world, studied in 3 different languages and reached a great level of success in his education – this is what I thought would make me successful. And I reached exactly that – I got an offer from a few of the best universities in the world. This was something I was particularly proud about. I was the first one from my family who reached this level, the first one who studied abroad, the first one who could speak Chinese, the first one who had such a great potential. What I missed was the bottom line of everything. I never really asked myself “How do you want to live your life?” I never thought about the “Why” behind what I was doing. What has happened then completely shifted my mindset. One of the unis I had a conditional offer for declined it and I thought to myself “This is it, I am done with.” I was really stressed for a period of time. I decided to hide it because I didn’t want others to see me fail, I didn’t want to be a nuisance to others. What I didn’t understand back then was that this event was a blessing. I started looking for a way out of this crap. I started reading loads of self-development books, I started learning new things about myself and I really started focusing on my own personal development. How come? I still ask myself this question now. Maybe it was Rich Dad Poor Dad that has changed my perspective, maybe it was something else. Either way, shortly after this has happened, me and my friend started The Real Life Education. We were set to help others reach their goals through the journey of self-development and self-education – we wanted people to understand that the traditional education is not even close to the actual self-growth. Why? Because we learned it the hard way. At this moment of time, I have also met my current business team and mentor who have truly changed my mindset. They taught me to understand that whatever we do, we need to have a strong why, a strong reason. This was something that completely blew my mind back then, because I was never taught this lesson. Nobody ever asked me – “How do you want to live your life?” The only thing I have been asked was: “What do you want to do when you grow up?”

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Asking The Right Question

So what have I learned? Why are most people so depressed and regretful? It is exactly because they have been asking themselves the wrong questions throughout their lives. Many of us look to be investment bankers, accountants, financial asset managers, etc. But when we’re asked: “So why do you want to do this?” We are clueless. Actually, most people say that they really enjoy the job. REALLY?! If they would not pay you, would you still do the job? That’s what I thought… Absolutely not. We need to start asking ourselves the right questions! Why am I doing what I am doing? How do I want to live? How does my dream life look like? We need to set the final goal, the destination where we are going first. As Friedrich Nietzsche put it: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” We need to understand our purpose first, then we can look for a platform to reach that. Most people are climbing their ladders and they’re climbing them fast. What they don’t realise is that they are climbing the wrong ladder! Make sure your ladder is the correct one! And if it’s not, don’t just stop and climb down. You need to jump and look for a new ladder now!! Your time is precious, make it count.

 

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Where to Start?

You start at the beginning. Sit down, forget about anything you’ve been taught. Take a pen and paper and write/draw your dreams. Be as specific as possible. Do you want a house on the beach? Draw it out,  look up its picture and print it out for yourself. Do you want to help underprivileged kids? Write it down and identify what you need to do to be able to do that. Visualise your dreams, visualise your WHY.

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