Grow Up

A couple of days ago, I have started reading a book called Dynamic People Skills by Dexter Yager – one of the greatest leaders of the modern world. The way this book is written completely amazes me. It takes me much longer to go through the chapters just because I am making so many notes as I go through the book. In one of the first chapters, Dexter talks about the idea of adulthood. He says that many people are adults in terms of age but behave like children. He then looks at how this impacts the world we live in and how you can personally “grow up.” This is what I want to talk about in this article. Let’s hop in!

Související obrázek

Dexter says that as an immature person, you have some characteristics you might not even be aware of. Naturally, if you want to grow up, you need to step out of these limitations. Here are some of the limitations he talks about (you can look for the rest of them in his book).

Living in The Immediate

Teenagers make impulsive decisions, they are pretty much driven by constant gratification. Dexter says that they live in the “right here, right now” without really considering the consequences of their actions. The idea of instant gratification keeps them hungry for the instant feeling of pleasure, which is also connected to another characteristic of adolescents. They are dominated by emotions. Simply put, when your feelings control what you do, your thinking is limited. Think back, have you bought something just because you “felt like it?” That is the reason why most people have issues with credit debt – they have not grown up and they allow their emotions to affect their thinking on the spot.

Výsledek obrázku pro instant gratification

Short on Discipline

Discipline is a struggle for many. Can you discipline yourself to wake up early? Can you discipline yourself to eat healthily? Can you discipline yourself to work out regularly? Many of these areas are major struggles for most people around us. Dexter says that teenagers take discipline as a drag and a burden. Adults understand that discipline is what frees you. It frees you to succeed. Nobody else will do it for you, you need to discipline yourself to grow up.

Limited Knowledge without Knowledge of The Limits

Teenagers are limited in the knowledge of life, sex, people and experience. However, they are not aware of these limitations. They are not aware of the fact that they don’t know what they don’t know. One of the steps to maturity is understanding and accepting the fact that you do not know everything. People don’t grow up, because they think that they have already grown up and experienced everything not facing the reality.


Operating from A Sentimentality Base – Not A Reality Base

This is something I can relate to and I need to work on. Imagining too many things without seeing reality. A great example is this story from Dexter’s book. One of his friends, Ron (the co-author of the book), told him a story from his college times. He saw a very beautiful lady at the campus and he “got a crush” on her. He never spoke to her, she lived more than 400 miles away. Yet he developed this image of great romance in his mind. He decided that he would marry her and went to see her at her distanced home. When he got there, reality slapped him in his face. She was already dating someone else and she didn’t even know who Ron was. He learned a crucial lesson at that moment. He couldn’t possibly think that he would marry her, he never even properly spoke to her!

Výsledek obrázku pro reality slap

Identity Sensitive

This is something pretty much every teenager falls into and most people never escape. People hunger for acceptance. They always want to fit in, they want to be liked by everyone. If you ask me what is the reason why most people give up on their dreams and goals? This is it. In order to fit into something, we call “the trend,” people absolutely disregard their own direction in life. Adults understand that not everyone has the same values and principles and that if they want to achieve greatness, they need to follow their own path, not someone else’s path.

How Do You Spend These 3 Crucial Commodities In Your Life?

When people ask me: “How can I instantly change my life?” I usually ask them back, where do you spend your time? Where do you spend your money? Where do you spend your energy? These 3 factors are arguably the 3 most important spending areas in your life. No matter what situation you are in, if you start paying attention to these 3 factors and take control of them, you will see a difference. In other words, tracking these 3 factors will provide you with an overview of how your life is going, where it is heading and how you can change it. Are you spending your time doing the things that help you grow and that you enjoy? Are you spending your money on the most important stuff or are you wasting it in Starbucks on coffees every morning? Are you getting angry over little, unimportant quarrels in your household? That’s the kind of questions I hope you would start asking yourself.

Výsledek obrázku pro spending


Where Is Your Time Going?

In one of our articles, I talk about the value and the importance of time in our lives. If you want to read up on that, check out this article. The way we spend our time is something that has the power to determine our state of mind, our growth or fallback, our happiness, our future, our financial situation and many many more important aspects of your lives. Do you want to buy a house on a beach? There are specific ways you need to spend your time to reach that goal. Do you want to become happier? Redistribute the time you spend with people based on how they affect your state of mind. The way you spend your time can benefit you, or it can hurt you. You choose.

Where Is Your Money Going?

This is something most people struggle with, even though they are very aware of it. However, bad spending habits have taken over their subconscious mind and there is no stopping that. The only way you can stop bad habits is by breaking them and replacing them with good habits. How can you do that? Start tracking every single cent. Where does your money go? Get a notebook, carry it wherever you go and write down every single spending that you might have skipped. In some time, it will annoy the heck out of you, which will eventually lead to you stopping spending that money because you don’t want to see that stupid notebook. In other words, it will force you out of bankruptcy.

Výsledek obrázku pro energy


Where Do You Spend Your Energy?

The third factor you need to mind is your energy. Where is it going? Are you spending your energy on unnecessary stuff like stupid quarrels over whether your meat is well cooked or not or are you focusing on the bigger picture? Do you place your focus in the areas you find necessary to grow in, or are you wasting it somewhere else? Your energy needs to be going in the direction of the areas that you care about the most. Do you want to be a footballer? Guess what you should be spending your energy on? Do you want to be a writer? Guess what now? You are the owner of your energy, don’t let it go to waste…

Start tracking these three areas if you feel like you need a change. Tracking them will allow you to see where the change needs to happen and what the change should look like. Start tracking!

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