Developing a Persuasive Argument A.K.A. Selling 101

Have you ever tried to persuade your parents, your friends or your colleague and completely failed? This is one of the things most people never learn. In school, they teach us how to develop an argument, but that’s where it ends. They often don’t teach us how to sell our argument (in a non-written form). And if you’ve ever learned how to pursue an academic argument, do you think the same applies in real-life conversation with people who might have never been introduced to that way of thinking? Have you ever felt in your day-to-day life like people just don’t get your point? It’s like the elevator doesn’t go all the way up if you know what I mean. What if I told you that the mistake might have been on your side? In this article, I’ll show you how you can appeal to the other and make them feel as if your argument was theirs.

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Understanding People

The first step is to really think about the way people think and what they value. We hate to be marketed to, we hate to be sold something. What we love is to buy stuff. The number one mistake most of us have been doing all along was that we were trying to sell stuff. We were not trying to make our counterparts buy our arguments. What do I mean? Throwing a few reasons at others as to why they should accept your argument will only make them more distant. Why? Because they feel like you’re trying to pressure them, you’re trying to sell something to them. That is reaaaaly annoying!

So What Should I Do?

What you need to do is to develop a connection with this person’s values and principles. First, work on figuring out what is the number 1 objection that person has. Then, you want to start developing and asking questions around that point that will lead towards a mutual understanding of the benefits of your argument. In short, by making the other person answer these questions, you are making them feel like your argument is theirs as they are developing the positive side of the conversation. According to Frank Bettger, there are 6 major things you can gain by asking good questions.

#1 Helps you avoid arguments

#2 Helps you avoid talking too much (number 1 mistakes most people make)

#3 Enables you to help the other fellow recognize what he wants – then help him decide hot to get it.

#4 Helps you crystalize the other person’s thinking – the idea becomes theirs.

#5 Helps you find the key issue – the closing sale

#6 Makes the other person feel important


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In a very short summary, what you want to do in a conversation where you’re trying to persuade someone or to sell something to them is to find their basic need and then their main point of interest and stick to these using open-ended questions. Talk about them, not about you!

4 Ways To Handle Rejection

Many times in our lives, we do things that are popular and that receive lots of support. However, the greatest successes often require us to do actions that might not be as popular (early mornings, no late nights, less “chilling out,” less attention in certain areas of our lives, etc.). This means that as we reach out for success in our lives, we all have to deal with a certain amount of rejection. You can’t really hope to succeed with absolutely no sense of rejection on the way. People will come up with different reasons why you will fail, why you should give up and why you’re just wasting your time. Often, these people include our closest ones, our relatives and close friends. How can you deal with these situations? Dexter Yager, an expert on people skills, gives us some tips regarding this issue in his book Dynamic People Skills.

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#1 Spiritual Clarity

Dexter, as a strong Christian, talks about how important his relationship with Jesus Christ was in helping him overcome rejection. What he is really pointing out is not that you need to be strongly religious to be able to deal with rejection. What you need is a consistent set of values and principles that will allow you to understand what you perceive as right and what you perceive as wrong. Defining your values and principles will help you in simplifying your decisions and understanding that many of the points people try to discourage you with do not meet with your own personal views on how things ought to be.

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#2 Battle Training

Rejections are, like anything else, an adaptable problem. This means that you can adapt to receiving rejections in a firm manner. The more you practice, the more you get rejected, the more you will understand how you can overcome rejection. There are 3 major strategies Dexter recommends we utilize to get this battle training – learn from the winners, read positive books, experience rejection personally.

#3 A Love of Excellence

Winners respect excellence. They also disrespect mediocrity and laziness. You need to develop immunity to those whose lifestyle and values you do not respect. Why should you listen to someone who is not where you want to be? This also means that you can learn lessons from rejectors, but never at the time of the rejection. You need to stay firm when you’re rejected for the sake of your emotional stability. When you feel like the rejection is not affecting you emotionally anymore, you can get back to it to reflect on it.

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#3 True Grit

According to Dexter, reacting to rejection properly contributes to your leadership skills big time. The grit means the courage to stick to with your purpose against all odds. True grit gives you 3 things – emotional control, mental discipline, the power of chosen optimism. Taking control and standing firm is the ultimate sign of a true leader!

A Winner’s Goal Setting Formula

Goals are something that we should all have or aim to identify. Where are you heading to? Why are you doing this? What’s the point? What’s the outcome? These questions should accompany us along the way of setting up a SMART goal. SMART here stands for – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-constrained. When you’re looking to achieve your dreams, it is a good idea to split them into smaller SMART goals that will allow you to progress in the right direction. Unfortunately, this is not something they teach you in school, thus we take the responsibility here at The Real Life Education to ensure that you get the necessary information to take action upon so that you can turn it into knowledge and get the desired results. In this article, we’ll present the successful goal setting formula from the book Million Dollar Habits by Brian Tracy.

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The Ultimate Goal Setting Formula

I’ll be giving you 7 specific steps you can utilize to set up your goals in the most effective way. I highly recommend taking these 7 steps and writing them down somewhere so you can take them in the future and put them into practice. I also want you to be aware of the fact that you shouldn’t be setting up too many goals at the same time. This will only divert your attention from your priorities and reduce your efficiency in return.

Step #1 Decide What You Want and Write It Down

Figuring out what priorities you have is probably the first and the core step you need to take in order to set up your goals effectively. Once you have successfully prioritized, you want to make sure that you write your goal down. Make it specific and measurable so it is easier for you to track.

Step #2 Set A Deadline For The Achievement of Your Goal

Putting a time range on your goal gives you a sense of urgency, which is a point where you feel like you really need to take action to achieve that goal. You should always aim to operate in this area, however you also need to make sure that you’re patient and that you’re not rushing anything. In short, push yourself but use common sense.

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Step #3 Make A List of Everything You Have to Do to Achieve It

As I mentioned above, deconstructing your goal into smaller tasks will allow you to stay more focused and to systematically pursue your goal step by step. This also makes your progress easily trackable, which can give you a small boost in confidence and motivation since you will see your accomplishments as you go.

Step #4 Organise The Small Steps into A Plan

It is always good to plan. Not for the sake of going by the plan, but for the sake of having planned. This will give you a sense of direction and it will make your steps seem more holistic as the plan will connect the dots for you.

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Step #5 Identify The Constraints that Are Holding You Back and Figure Out A Way to Overcome Them

This step goes hand in hand with your plan. You want to make sure that apart from seeing what steps you need to take to move forward, you also need to understand what roadblocks you will be overcoming, how you can overcome them and when they are most likely to pop up.

Step #6 Step Out in Faith

Simply start making it happen. Have faith that you can do it and start making it happen. Take action!

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Step #7 Do Something Every Day that Moves You Towards Your Goal

Develop a habit of doing something daily that moves you towards your goal. Babysteps are the factor that wins the game. Develop a sustainable, consistent habit of making these small steps so you can move towards your goal on a daily basis. Most importantly, don’t break the cycle.

Set Yourself Up For Success

Most of us know what kind of movies they like, some of us know what subject in school they enjoy, few of us know what they want to do as a job and most of us don’t know how they want to live. This is a major flaw in modern society. It is clearly a fault of the tradition. We are led to think about the “what” rather than about the “why“. This is something that cripples us in the long run and makes most people regret not having done what they’ve dreamed of doing in their lives. This flaw has a further crippling consequence. We are unaware of where we are and what we should do next with our time. Why do you think many teenagers end up drunk every weekend? Do you think they would still do that if they understood their direction and the reason why they’re taking that path? In this article, I will be talking about a few steps you can take to set yourself up for success in the long run.

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Step #1 Find Your Direction

As I have mentioned many, many times before, it is not important what you do, but why you do it. Why do you go to school? Why do you go to uni? Why do you workout? Why do you wake up early? Why do you procrastinate? Why do you read books? Why do you not read books? Begin with the end in mind. Become outcome-focused, not process focused. Why? Because processed focus people never actually achieve what they want. Even more, they don’t understand what they want, they don’t understand the outcome. They only understand the process. If you know that you have to go to university, but you don’t know why, how are you going to feel? Will you study just to “get it done” or to actually learn and grow, so that you can utilise that knowledge in the long run?

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Step #2 Identify Where You Are

The second step is slightly easier than the first one, but its biggest challenge is your subjectivity. To understand how far we are from the desired outcome, we need to set up some framework that will make it easier for us to clear up some confusions created by the subjectivity of this matter. What I would suggest is setting up a scale from 1 to 10. 10 would be that goal of yours, maybe the life that you want to live. It is “the why” you came up with. Now it is important to take some time and think about how far you are from where you want to be. The scale helps you to specify it for your reference. You can set up some points where you’ll be stepping up one number. If your dream is to live the life of a judge, not for the sake of being one, but for the sake of imposing justice, one of your steps could be graduating from a law school. Which leads me to the third step…

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Step #3 The How

After you have figured out how far you are from your goal, from the final point, you should start planning out the “how” in terms of how you are planning to get there. What are the steps you have to undergo to achieve that goal? What are the experiences and learnings you have to go through to live that life? How will you grow to your success? This is the time for you to find the right platform that will deliver the results for you. In order to do this, a very helpful aspect of your focus should be a person. A someone who is closer to that 10 than you are or a someone who is already past it. Pursue them and learn from them. That will cut your path much shorter than it would be otherwise.

Finally, understand that your 10 is not a static point. It is very likely that as you grow and as you start approaching it, it will expand. It will shift and you will find yourself sitting on a 5 even though you were on a 7 before. Why? Because you have grown, you have expanded your dream and your 10 became an 8. This should not disappoint you, it should excite you. It is a sign of you developing a growth mindset – understanding that there is always some space for growth and improvement.

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The Overlooked Power of Praise

The present generations have grown up in the world, where we are told what we shouldn’t do, how we shouldn’t behave or how negative our lives are. Hearing all these negative phrases and criticisms inevitably leads to something we call negative conditioning of our mind. We are lead to negativity by default. This is one of the reasons we tend to overlook something all of us can do, we tend to overlook the good stuff in others. We look for the negatives in people, we criticise. What we do very rarely is praise.  In this article, I want to focus on the power of praise, its effect on our relationships and more importantly on our own mind.

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The Negative Conditioning

As I mentioned in the introduction, most of us have been brought up in a negative environment. We go through our youth learning what is not meant to be done, what can never be achieved and what we need to focus on, although it might be something we really do not enjoy. The way modern society is set up is very alarming. In school, in the workplace, you are criticised whenever you do something that is outside of the norm (in a bad way). You are led to think inside the box, to follow the tradition and to keep your head down. Try to look back, how often have you been criticised for making a mistake? How often have you been praised for performing well? Most of us tend to focus on the negatives to “improve” our behaviour, but we fail to praise the positive, which is actually the factor that influences us the most.

The Power of Praise

So what should we change? According to the books Whale Done and How to Win Friends and Influence People, we need to start looking for the good people around us do and we should start bringing it up more often. Look for the good instead of the bad. Look for the small accomplishments you can praise people for and praise them! It is very unnatural for us since that is not how we have been taught to behave, but it brings miracles. How do you feel when someone tells you how amazingly you’ve completed your task? It feels great. And even more, it makes you want to improve and grow! Praise supports growth and improvement, thus it is a very good idea to praise even slight improvement because it will multiply the original result in the future. Additionally, the more positive you look for, the more positive you will see. The more positive you will see, the more positive you will accept into your life. The more positive you will accept into your life, the more positive you will attract. It is simple, the more you praise, the more will people want to be around you and the more you will want to be around yourself.

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Regarding the practical side of this concept, I have discussed different kinds of responses in this article. In short, there are different kinds of responses. You either ignore, you criticise, you praise or you redirect. The most common response is ignorance. The most useful responses are positive and redirection. Why redirection? Because it allows you to take the negative and turn it into praise.

Look for the good in people and in their actions. The greatest challenge for most of us will not be reducing criticism but strengthening praise. We love to ignore the positive, now we have to take a step forward and start praising it.