The Universal Secret

When we take a look at modern society, there is only a bunch of people who “run the world.” They’re the people who own the majority of the world’s wealth, they’re the top 1%. How come there is only such a limited amount of people who are “winning” in their life? They must know something the rest doesn’t. They must have figured out something the rest of the world is not aware of. Something special. They understand the secret, they understand the law of attraction. In this article, I will give you a short introduction to the law that changes lives, make sure you don’t miss it!

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History of the law

This “universal secret” has been well known to people ever since ancient times. In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne talks about the old Babylonians and the way they have utilised the law of attraction to create one of The Seven Wonders of the world, The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. The law has been practised ever since we, as human species, were around. It has helped people reach greatness for centuries, so why shouldn’t it work for us? Let’s get into the law itself.

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The Universal Secret

The Law of Attraction is something always present in our lives. Everything we do has a certain impact on the way the law works for us. The short version of the explanation of the law is – You attract what you are becoming. Now make sure to pay attention to the tense. What you’re becoming, in other words, where you’re heading is more important than who you are today. It is the direction that matters, not your current situation. This underlines the importance of the concept of progress, rather than perfectionism. If you’re a perfectionist, you won’t get much stuff done simply because you will either get stuck on one thing for a long time, or you will be afraid to take action since you might not finish the task perfectly. Focus on who you want to become and you will attract similar kind of people, material and results into your life.

My Experience

I have personally experienced the immense power of the law when I got introduced to the business I am building now. What happened was – I started reading loads of entrepreneurial books, self-development books and more generally books focused on financial freedom. Then me and my friend decided to start our blog and our Instagram page. Through all of this, I have met my current business partners and mentors. You can see how I knew from the beginning that as long as I work hard and focus on my growth, I would discover something that would help me get where I wanted to be. So I worked hard to grow myself because I also understood that in order to see the opportunity, I would have to have a much greater mindset than I had before. Thanks to all that, I successfully identified the opportunity and here I am, building my financial freedom. Law of Attraction!

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The Unacknowledged Reality

We live in a world where it’s sometimes hard to see reality as it is. This is due to many reasons, such as our curricular systems, culture or the “general truths” that are become less and less true when you look at them closely. One of these “truths” is that your IQ determines how successful you are as it allows you to study better, get better marks and thus get a better job. To make my position clear and straightforward, that is simply not true. In this article, I want to talk about the importance of our emotional intelligence (EQ) and how it provides us with enormous benefits in many areas of life.

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What Is Emotional Intelligence?

EQ is something that most people ignore, which might be the greatest mistake of their life. The physical source of our EQ is the communication between our emotional and rational “brains.” Our brains are hardwired to give our emotion an upper hand. However rational you are, if you don’t understand your emotions, you are in a great disadvantage in every area of your life. According to the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, most people with an average IQ, but a high EQ outperform those with high IQ and lower EQ. This is because good decisions require far more than factual knowledge. They are made using self-knowledge and emotional mastery when they’re needed most. Ever since we’re young, we’re taught rationality, which essentially means that we’re taught to grow our IQ. But IQ is actually not very likely to grow during our lives anyways. What we completely ignore is our EQ, which has a huge potential as it is something that can be developed (as opposed to IQ).

Emotions

Our emotions are derivations of five core feelings: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and shame. It is a fact that these 5 emotions are the core influencers of our decisions as our first reaction to an event is always an emotional one. When you learn to understand how you can control your emotions, you’ll also understand how your emotions affect your performance, how you can control and break the transition between emotional states or how you can influence others through your emotional expressions. Learn about your emotions and a whole new world of possibilities will unfold in front of your own eyes.

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So How Does Knowing My EQ Help Me?

If you’re still wondering why should you care, let me give you some numbers. According to the book, EQ accounts for 58% of performance in all jobs. This means that most of your tasks are based on something you can choose to develop or to ignore. Which way is the correct one is up to your choice. The link between EQ and earnings is so direct that every point increase in EQ adds $1,300 to an annual salary. Further, EQ is the single strongest driver of leadership and excellence. Still think that you can afford to ignore your EQ? 

Factors Of EQ

Your EQ consists of 2 fundamental areas – personal competence and social competence. Personal competence includes self-awareness and self-management. Self-awareness is very much your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions at the moment and understand your tendencies across situations. Your self-management is your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behaviour positively. Based on these 2 factors, you can very effectively control your own personal emotions and their influence on your behaviour. The other side of the coin, social competence, consists of social awareness and relationship management. Social awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them. Relationship management is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully. You can see that these two factors help you control and affect your environment, the people around you. Focus on these 4 specific areas of your EQ and you will see a huge boost in your general life success.

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Mind Control – The Subconscious

Controlling your own mind is the core of everything. It is not only about success, but it is also about your reality. You create your reality or more specifically, the influences you allow to affect you do. The problem with modern society is that we have completely “delegated” this responsibility to the media, the news and to the people who are aware, unlike most. Even though it could sound a bit too harsh, we can talk about the 3rd face of power (Lukes’ concept), where the victims don’t even doubt the reality, they don’t doubt anything that happens around them. The people who dominate consciously create reality through the subconscious of others. This is something we have been brought up to, it is not our fault. However, it sometimes does feel like the totalitarian society in Orwell’s 1984, where the people, unaware of the “mind control,” follow The Party completely and doubtlessly. In 1984 the hero of the story, Winston, is pretty much the only one (apart from Julie, another important character) who realises how crazy manipulative The Party is. Living in a society where anyone can be a life-endangering element for Winston because anyone can discover his free mind can sometimes be very similar to what we live in now. In this article, I will talk about how we can consciously lead our subconscious to the thoughts we desire, not the thoughts we are forced to accept and then consequently turn these thoughts into reality.

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The Subconscious

Our mind is a very complex part of our body that leads it in many ways. It is the major decision maker and it keeps our body functional and healthy. Our mind is split into two dimensions, the conscious and the subconscious. The concept of the subconscious has been very well known since ancient times. The whole idea of religion is essentially built on the concept of the subconscious. We are able to control our conscious, but we can not control our subconscious, at least not directly. Our subconscious is a subject to our conscious, it follows it around and it listens to it more than you can imagine. Our subconscious is a principle and works according to the law of belief. As it is stated in the Bible: “Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith” (MARK 11:23). You can see that this citation refers to the fundamental way our subconscious mind works. It is based on our belief and habitual thoughts.

Power Beyond Our Imagination

According to Joseph Murphy, the author of The Power of The Subconscious Mind, we all possess a power beyond what we’re capable of understanding. That power lies in our subconscious mind. If we understand how to use it, it will create miracles for us. A quick example could be its healing power. According to Murphy, disease is an unnatural state of our body, which is caused by the negative state of our subconscious. Think about it, have you ever been sick and positive at the same time? When we’re sick, we often actually support the sickness through our thoughts. Murphy gives many examples in which people regained their sight, the ability to walk or healed fatal diseases through the power of suggestion and affirmation. Murphy also argues that we are able to attract pretty much anything into our lives through the power of suggestion and affirmation. He gives many examples of lawsuits that people have won or have come to an agreement with the opposing party after several days of active suggestion. If you learn how to utilise the power of your subconscious mind, you will suggest and your subconscious will deliver.

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Control Your Destiny

Suggestion

In the book, Murphy takes the reader through many methods of utilisation of your subconscious. He says: “you will get a reaction or response from your subconscious mind according to the nature of the thought or idea you hold in your conscious mind.” Thus, the principle I mentioned above follows – your subconscious mind is based on our belief and habitual thoughts. The method of control I want to talk about in this article is called suggestion. According to Murphy, our subconscious is amenable to suggestion. He explains that you can control your destiny through your thoughts because your thoughts can control your subconscious. Suggestion essentially means that you actively “suggest” or create a thought in your mind that you believe to be true and you reinforce that thought through regular repetition. For instance, I speak that my body is becoming healthier and healthier day by day. My skin is improving every hour and my acne is disappearing every minute. This is a thought I personally believe to be right because I am saying that my skin is in the process of recovery. Pay attention to the difference of “in process” and “already there.” This is very important because I would truly not believe that my skin is already healthy, thus the suggestion would have no effect. It needs to be supported by faith. If you believe it to be true, your subconscious will accept it and will act on it. If you suggest it, but don’t really believe it, you will find yourself wondering why it is not working.

Practical Use

“The easiest and most obvious way to formulate an idea is to visualise it” (Murphy). Visualisation imprints a clear picture of your thought into your subconscious. It can then take it further and realise it. Murphy says that: “a mental picture held in the mind, backed by faith, will come to pass.” Again, pay attention to the “backed by faith” part, it won’t work if this part is missing. Murphy suggests that “by entering into a sleepy, drowsy state, effort is reduced to a minimum – the conscious mind is submerged to a great extent when in a sleepy state.” This means that the subconscious is taking over. This is the state you want to put yourself into if you want to utilise suggestion to the fullest extent. I suggest meditation before you speak your suggestion. A specific way Murphy suggests you do this is a prayer:

1. Take a look at the problem. 

2. Turn to the solution or way out known only to the subconscious mind. 

3. Rest in a sense of deep conviction that it is done. 

Use this to suggest what you want in your life, support it by your faith and it will happen. Remember that every coin has two sides. This method also works the other way around. Negative suggestions lead to negative outcomes. Your subconscious multiplies and magnifies whatever you deposit in it, be it positive or negative. You reap what you sow.

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Birds of A Feather Flock Together

“Birds of the same feather flock together.” This saying is known by many but understood only by few. The importance of our associations and the people we “hang around” with and spend most of our time with is one of the two major influences we have in our lives, the second one being the books we read. In this article, I will be focusing exactly on that, our associations. I will talk about why they’re important to our life, how they affect us and also how we can control whether our associations influence us positively or negatively. This is one of the most crucial influences you will have in your life, it can be the factor determining your victory, or your doom and I strongly suggest that you do take a proper interest in this area of knowing if you want to take full control your life.

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Why Should I care?

The associations you create in your life, a.k.a. the people you spend your time with, play a very important role in your personal development. Your associations are probably the single most important influence you have in your life. Ever since you were born, you’ve been around people. Each and every one of these people has left some kind of experience, some kind of impression with you. This could have had a short or a long-term effect on your personality and on your perspective on reality. Considering the fact that nowadays you spend more time with your classmates than with your parents, you can see why people get into trouble when they find the wrong group of friends, or in other words, associate with the wrong people. On the other hand, spending more time with dreamers can help you tremendously in developing a dream of your own. You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

How Come? I Have Never Felt Any Influence…

Here’s the thing. You often don’t consciously realise that you are being influenced by others, but you are. This, like most of the long term influences in your life, works on the bases of regularity. You can meet a negative person a couple of times and feel no difference. However, after some time, you will start complaining as well, because that’s what you get used to if you spend more time with that person. When I am around specific people regularly, I can sense that my vocabulary changes. When I speak to the people who swear, I end up swearing more often. When I leave that association and hang around my business partners and my mentors more, I speak less vulgarly and more to the point. This is all because of the influence these people have on me. Think about this kind of situations in your life and try to analyse what effect they have left with you.

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So What Should I Do About This?

What you want to do with this, or more specifically who you want to associate with really depends on your situation and your direction. Do you want to become more positive? Search for positive people and spend less time with the negative individuals around you. Do you want to become financially free? Search for the people who are heading in the same direction. Best case scenario, you connect with someone who is already there and who is willing to help you, mentor you to get there as well in your own way. Use all your energy on this, because it will change everything. Remember, this is not only about adding new people into your life, but also about reducing the time spent with the people who affect you negatively. That is the second side of the coin. Think carefully about who you spend most of your time with and where are these people heading. If you’re heading in a similar direction (positivity and ambition-wise), then you’re on the right track.

 

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Break Them Bad Habits

Quite a while ago, we have published an article on habits and habit creation called Habits 101. In this article, we talk about how habits work and why they are super beneficial for our lives. What we don’t talk about in depth is how to get rid of the very bad habits that have been ingrained into your mind when you were young and that you’ve carried with you throughout your whole life. This is something that is a huge part of the whole process. You can never instantly forget your bad habits. You can’t simply delete them. What you need to do is to start minimizing the bad stuff and maximize the good stuff. It’s a matter of substitution and correction rather than eradication. In this article, I will talk about how you can begin restructuring your habits by minimizing the bad stuff.

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The 4 Steps

If you’ve read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, you might see that the 4 steps I’ll be talking about are in essence the inversions of the 4 steps you have to take to create a habit. The 4 steps I’ll use are not necessarily interchangeable, but some of them might not occur in your solution. I’ll list them in the usual order below. Do bear in mind that these steps require some sense of creativity from your side. Although I will mention some examples, you will have to take these general steps and apply them on your own case.

Step #1 Make It Invisible

For the sake of explanation, I will use a very common habit of all of us. Our reaction to our phone notification. First, you see/hear it make a sound. This connection focuses your attention on the phone – your attention leaves whatever you were focused on before the phone rang. It logically follows that if you want to get rid of this bad habit (constantly checking your phone when working) you have to somehow make sure that your phone is away from you so that you can’t see it, but you also want to make sure that you can’t hear it ring. This is applicable, like most of the steps, pretty much everywhere. You need to somehow make that trigger disappear.

Step #2 Make It Unattractive

The second step in our phone notification scenario is making it unattractive to check the phone. This could mean placing it somewhere high or far from you so getting up and reaching for the phone would be almost annoying. In more general terms, you need to make the bad habit you’re breaking super unattractive. Another example could be – lots of people have bad eating habits. Stick that fat person picture on your fridge. Stick that picture of a fat extraction operation on your fridge. It will make you feel at least a bit disgusted.

Step #3 Make It Difficult

In our phone notification scenario, you could lock the phone somewhere so that you’d have to first look for the key and then unlock the case with the phone. It is a bit extreme (you could figure out some super annoyingly hard method of unlocking your phone), but it makes it difficult to reach for the phone – it also makes it unattractive. In more broader terms, you simply have to make it super hard for you to take the action (in terms of the bad habit). Put that candy high up and lock it down. Put a really long password on your computer so it is difficult to go through every single time.

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Step #4 Make It Unsatisfying

The reason we take action on bad habits is the feeling of satisfaction. This is the final battle. If you successfully apply the 3 previous steps, you will most likely not have to do this. But if you fail to take action on the first 3 steps, you need to figure out how to make the habit unsatisfying. The best example I can come up with at the moment is putting pepper on the sweets you really want to eat before you start craving them. Get rid of that satisfaction in advance so that when you encounter the problem, you will have put a solution on the table.

These steps, if applied properly (which means no cheating) will help you break your bad habit. Please do bear in mind that habits take around 30 days to form, thus breaking them might take even longer. It is a long term pull, not a one day push. If you mess up once, you start all over again.

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