“Birds of the same feather flock together.” This saying is known by many but understood only by few. The importance of our associations and the people we “hang around” with and spend most of our time with is one of the two major influences we have in our lives, the second one being the books we read. In this article, I will be focusing exactly on that, our associations. I will talk about why they’re important to our life, how they affect us and also how we can control whether our associations influence us positively or negatively. This is one of the most crucial influences you will have in your life, it can be the factor determining your victory, or your doom and I strongly suggest that you do take a proper interest in this area of knowing if you want to take full control your life.

Why Should I care?

The associations you create in your life, a.k.a. the people you spend your time with, play a very important role in your personal development. Your associations are probably the single most important influence you have in your life. Ever since you were born, you’ve been around people. Each and every one of these people has left some kind of experience, some kind of impression with you. This could have had a short or a long-term effect on your personality and on your perspective on reality. Considering the fact that nowadays you spend more time with your classmates than with your parents, you can see why people get into trouble when they find the wrong group of friends, or in other words, associate with the wrong people. On the other hand, spending more time with dreamers can help you tremendously in developing a dream of your own. You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

How Come? I Have Never Felt Any Influence…

Here’s the thing. You often don’t consciously realise that you are being influenced by others, but you are. This, like most of the long term influences in your life, works on the bases of regularity. You can meet a negative person a couple of times and feel no difference. However, after some time, you will start complaining as well, because that’s what you get used to if you spend more time with that person. When I am around specific people regularly, I can sense that my vocabulary changes. When I speak to the people who swear, I end up swearing more often. When I leave that association and hang around my business partners and my mentors more, I speak less vulgarly and more to the point. This is all because of the influence these people have on me. Think about this kind of situations in your life and try to analyse what effect they have left with you.

So What Should I Do About This?

What you want to do with this, or more specifically who you want to associate with really depends on your situation and your direction. Do you want to become more positive? Search for positive people and spend less time with the negative individuals around you. Do you want to become financially free? Search for the people who are heading in the same direction. Best case scenario, you connect with someone who is already there and who is willing to help you, mentor you to get there as well in your own way. Use all your energy on this, because it will change everything. Remember, this is not only about adding new people into your life, but also about reducing the time spent with the people who affect you negatively. That is the second side of the coin. Think carefully about who you spend most of your time with and where are these people heading. If you’re heading in a similar direction (positivity and ambition-wise), then you’re on the right track.

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There are billions of people on Earth. Each of us is unique, each of us has his or her own dreams and goals, each of us has a certain direction in life – be it conscious or subconscious. The more conscious you are of where you are heading and where you want to go, the better for you, as you can take certain steps to ensure that you will definitely arrive in your desired destination. There are many that believe that their dreams and goals are unrealistic. Let me share something I’ve learned on my journey. Your mind is something extraordinary. If you tell yourself you can make it, you’re right. If you tell yourself you can’t, you’re right. You are the master of your mind and you are the one who needs to decide whether you actually want to make your dreams come true or whether you want to stay in your comfort zone and spend your time living an average unfulfilling life – your choice. In today’s article, we’ll be talking about the specific and arguably most important steps you should take in order to ensure that you’re heading in the correct direction and that nothing will stop you.

Step #1 Find Your Why

When someone asks me, what’s the most important thing I need to do to make sure I succeed in life? These are my questions I always ask that person – Why do you want to succeed? Why are you doing what you’re doing? What is your purpose? How do you want to live your life? As Friedrich Nietzsche said: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” And this is an absolute truth. Do you want to start your business to help the people around you, but you need more money? As long as you have a strong why, you’ll be willing to do pretty much anything (legal and moral) to make it happen. The how is variable, but the why needs to be strong and consistent. Your why is you motivation. We are all searching for some kind of motivation around, when the greatest kind of motivation we can find is inside ourselves. The external motivation from YouTube videos, Instagram posts and things like that gets us hyped and all, but it only lasts for a few hours, or days at most. What really keeps you going, what really keeps you alive when you struggle is your internal motivation – your why. Another great thing your why does for you is that it makes your decisions black and white. You either make the decision that takes you closer to your goals or further away from them. It is that simple.

Step #2 Make A Plan of Action

As Dwight D. Eisenhower put it: “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” This is especially right in terms of success creation. You need to make a plan of action – you can’t just do random stuff without considering what effects that action has on your progress. You need to look into how you can reach your goals and you need to come up with a game-plan. Goal setting and goal achievement is a matter of long-term consistency and persistence as well as personal growth. In short, you will not be the same person when you arrive in your destination as you were before you started your journey. However, do bear in mind that as Dwight D. Eisenhower said, your plan will most likely be “useless”. Now, it’s important to define the kind of “useless” we’re talking about. You will encounter many kinds of obstacles you might have never even thought about – you have not planned to overcome them. But you will have no choice, you’ll need to figure out how to overcome these roadblocks on the way. That is how things are on the way to success. Good news is – you already have a strong why so this won’t take you down as if it would have if you were just doing something without a strong internal purpose. You need to be willing to make some changes in your how, you need to be willing to make some changes in your game-plan, but you should never ever step off your path to your dreams.

Step #3 Start NOW

The difference between the people who have reached their dreams and that who haven’t is one word – action. You need to start! You don’t know how to make it work? Just do something that you believe will take you closer to your goals. Many successful people first started and figured out the rest on the way. It doesn’t matter how much you know, how much knowledge you might have – if you don’t take action, nothing happens. It is as simple as that. Start now, make that first model of the app you want to create, start that IG page you want to grow, talk to that first investor about your business idea, just do something! Your idea remains only an idea if you don’t take action. Be unique, step up and do something. That something will eventually develop into that awesome decision you have made back then without which you wouldn’t be where you are now. Don’t let that something become that something you wish you would’ve done.

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Responsibility is a term very often regarded as something negative. You need to take the responsibility for your actions, you are responsible for what you’ve done, who’s going to take responsibility if this goes wrong? All of these have a negative conotation. However, taking responsibility is something every person who wants to reach a significant success in whatever area needs to do. In specific terms, you have to take responsibility for your life first in order to be able to take it to the next level. This is the topic we’ll be looking at in today’s article. Let’s make this happen!

Is Responsibility Really That Bad?

As I mentioned above, responsibility is something people usually perceive negatively, usually as a result of some mistake. But is it really that bad? Let’s look at what it really means to take responsibility for your life. When you do that, you automatically take responsibility for whatever happens in your life. What does this mean though? How can I take responsibility for something I haven’t done? It’s important to understand the concept behind taking responsibility for your life. Let’s say something really bad happened. Say your unicorn caught a cold (let’s talk about unicorns to make the misfortune a bit less real and a bit more comical). Your unicorn caught a cold and you need to take the responsibility for it. Why? You’re not the one who made the unicorn sick and you haven’t done anything that would lead to you unicorn’s sickness. That is all true, but you still need to understand that you could have invested your years of university into studying about unicorns and the diseases that attack them and about how to prevent these diseases. Now, you might be thinking that I went a bit nuts!

Why Do I Need to Take Responsibility for Everything?

I might have gone slightly crazy when I decided to use the example of a unicorn, but the point stands. You need to take responsibility. Why? The reason is very simple. You need to take responsibility in order to remind yourself that you’re in control. You’re in full control of your life. You can affect anything that happens to you, the way you perceive it and how you react. Let me repeat it, you are in control. What does this mean? This means that you can achieve whatever you want to achieve, you can grow as much as you want to grow, you control anything that happens in your life and you control any outome of that situation. You are in control, absolute control.

So How Do I Take Responsibility

Taking responsibility and thus taking full control of your life is not something you can start doing just like that. You first need to understand a very important thing. You want to take responsibility not to make yourself feel bad about something (like an average negative human machine would), but to remind yourself that you’re in control. You need to start looking for lessons and solutions in your hardships. You need to begin looking at things differently – then the things you look at will change. You won’t see a failed maths test, you’ll see an opportunity to get feedback and to learn and never make that mistake again. In short, you’ll see an opportunity to grow. You need to learn to understand that responsibility is not something bad or negative. It is a reminder, a reminder of your direction, a reminder of your vision and a reminder of the fact that there are hardships you need to overcome and grow through.

Success and The Size of Your Issues

Another very important thing you’ll learn to understand is that most of your issues are not even worth spending time and focus on. When you order a steak and get a chicken leg, is that really something that should take you calm away? Is it something you need to care about, or can you pick yourself up and get the hell on with it? Successful people never waste time on small issues and dramas. They focus on the greater problems that will take them somewhere. The size of your issues defines the size of your success. The harder it gets, the more you grow. However, the harder it gets doesn’t mean it gets harder for you. It might not feel harder, because you might be used to dealing with harder issues. When you grow, your issues grow. This means that the issues you perceive change. You learn to see the more important problems you have instead of the little drama you used to care about. This all is learnable. But first, you need to take responsibility for your life.

When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.

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